Episode 141: What You Need to Know about Childhood Substance Use with Richard Capriola
/The topic that we will be tackling for this week's episode on The Balanced Parent podcast is a bit tricky, but it's also something we will all need to think about sooner or later: Substance Use. I don't love the idea of parenting from a place of fear, as I'm sure you know, but I also know the statistics about teenage substance use and the risks. I want to be mindful and conscious as my children approach their teen years, with the hopes of fostering honest conversations that help my kids see me as a safe space to get information and help when they need it. I also know that some of you with teens may be feeling a bit lost for warning signs to look for and how to hold boundaries while honoring your teen's autonomy.
No matter where you are in your parenting journey, I hope this conversation can be there for you when you need it! To help me in this conversation, I am joined by Richard Capriola. He has been a mental health and addiction counselor for over two decades. He worked as an addictions counselor at Menninger Clinic in Houston Texas for over a decade where he treated adolescents and adults diagnosed with mental health and substance use disorders. He is the author of The Addicted Child: A Parent's Guide to Adolescent Substance Abuse.
Here's an overview of our conversation:
What warning signs should parents know about and the first step to do when noticing these signs
Body Autonomy and how to balance between being able to choose what to do with their body, the substances to put in their body, and keeping them safe and their well being
How to balance supporting our children with love and compassion vs. crossing that line into enabling their substance use
If you want to get more support for your kiddo, visit Richard's website helptheaddictedchild.com.
TRANSCRIPT
Parenting is often lived in the extremes. It's either great joy or chaotic, overwhelmed. In one moment, you're nailing it and the next you're losing your cool. I want to help you find your way to the messy middle, to a place of balance. You see balance is a verb, not a state of being. It is a thing you do. Not a thing you are. It is an action, a process, a series of micro corrections that you make each and every day to keep yourself feeling centered. We are never truly balanced. We are engaged in the process of balancing.
Hello, I'm Dr. Laura Froyen and this is The Balanced Parent Podcast where overwhelmed, stressed out and disconnected parents go to find tools, mindset shifts and practices to help them stop yelling at the people they love and start connecting on a deeper level. All delivered with heaping doses of grace and compassion. Join me in conversations that will help you get clear on your goals and values and start showing up in your parenting, your relationships, your life with openhearted authenticity and balance. Let's go!
Laura: Hello, everybody! This is Dr. Laura Froyen and on this episode of The Balanced Parent, we are going to be talking with my guest expert Richard Capriola and he is a mental health and addictions counselor and an expert on helping families whose child or teen adolescent is dealing with substance abuse and addiction. So this conversation I know can be a topic that is hard and scary for parents to even think about. I know a lot of my audience has younger kids and some who have teens and so I'm really excited to have this conversation both for parents whose teens are perhaps facing these issues who are entering the age where substance use starts becoming more prevalent and for those of us with younger kids like myself who are looking for ways to prevent substance abuse. So Richard, welcome to the show. Thank you so much for being with us. Will you tell us a little bit more about who you are and what you do?
Richard: Yes, thank you, Laura. I really appreciate you taking the time to talk to me and I think that you just identified the core reason as to why I wrote my book The Addicted Child: A parent's Guide to Adolescent Substance Abuse, when you talked about how this is such a scary topic for parents. It is a scary topic and I wrote my book to give them information to give them resources. I kept it very short, hoping that they would feel better prepared for this in the event that they need to confront it, that they would not be so afraid of this topic that they would learn about it, that they would be more knowledgeable about it and feel more confident, that they can deal with this issue. So that was a good introduction as to why I wrote the book.
My background includes a long history in education. I was in education administration for over 30 years in Illinois. I transitioned from that career to working in mental health where I worked as a crisis center counselor and I noticed that quite a few people who were coming to the crisis center had a mental health issue and a substance abuse issue. So I went back to the University of Illinois and obtained a master's degree in human services with an emphasis in addictions counseling. I continued to work at the crisis center for a while until I was offered a position at Menninger Clinic in Houston texas. Menninger Clinic is a large psychiatric hospital serving adults and adolescents. And I worked there for over a decade treating both adolescents and adults who were diagnosed with mental health and substance abuse issues.
Many families, many parents who were struggling with this issue of having a child with substance abuse and worked with them. And then I left Menninger a little over a year ago and I, and because of my work with so many parents, I wanted to write a resource that would be a good guide for them. And I kept it to around 100 pages because I know parents are busy, they don't have time to read several 100 pages. So I kept it to about 100 pages with very short concise chapters, but yet packed it with a lot of information that I hope is helpful for parents and that I think that will be beneficial to them. Make it maybe a little bit less scary of a subject for them.
Laura: Yeah, well I really appreciate that and I appreciate what you're saying here too, that this might be some a resource to check out and look into, even if you have younger kids or even if the substance use isn't actually something that you're terribly concerned about with your kids. Just so that you know, you're prepared and ready for the conversation or for what to do if it comes up. I really like that perspective.
Richard: I think knowledge is power. So the more we can empower parents by giving them the information on this subject, the less fearful they become of it and they feel better prepared and no matter what the age of your child may be they’re 6, maybe they're 7, maybe 8, maybe they're 15, 16, it's never too late or too early to begin to become familiar with this issue. Know what's going on out there in terms of kids using substances. Know how the substances work in the developing adolescent brain. What resources and tests are out there and just become less afraid and more confident that you'll be able to handle this issue if it does come up.
Laura: Yeah, I so appreciate that. I think it's so important to be prepared in that way. Okay, so then let's dive into some of those things that you just brought up. What are some of the warning signs that parents should set off alarm bells for parents that we can be looking out for?
Richard: That isn't an important issue because so many times I would sit across from parents and I would go through their child's history of using a substance and I would give them the diagnosis of a substance use disorder that was either mild or moderate or severe. And when I finished explaining the history of their child's use of a substance, they would look at me and many times they would say I had no idea this was going on. Or if they did suspect their child was using a substance, they would say something like, well I sort of thought something was going on, but I didn't know it was this bad, and these are good parents and they would feel guilty. They would say, how did I not know this was going on? How did I not catch it? How did I miss the warning signs? Well, they missed the warning signs because nobody told them what to look for.
So in my book, I present warning signs for a child that might be drinking alcohol. Warning signs for a child that might be using marijuana. Warning signs for a child that might be developing an eating disorder or self harming because they sometimes can accompany a child using a substance. So those warning signs are all listed in my book. As a general rule, what I recommend to parents is pay attention to the changes that you see in your child, you know, your child better than anyone. So pay attention to the changes that you see. Don't assume that the changes that you're seeing, the behaviors that you're seeing is just normal adolescent acting out. It may very well be, but it also might be an indicator that there's something else going on underneath the surface. The longer these changes last and the more of these changes you see, you probably should be more concerned.
If you see a change that lasts for a couple of days or you just see maybe one of these changes for a brief period of time. Okay. That maybe that's not too concerning. But if you start to see a series of changes in your child's behavior and they last for longer periods of time, then you need to be concerned and maybe follow up and get some advice as to what's going on and some assessments. Some of the examples that I give parents are, you may have a child that was earning very good grades and now the grades are starting to fall. You may have a child that was very social and outgoing now becomes very isolating and quiet. You may have a child who used to participate in sports no longer wants to participate in sports. You may have a child who very openly introduced you to their friends, you knew who their friends were, you might have even known who their family members were, now becomes very secretive of who their friends are. So, these are just some examples of changes that we see in children that as parents, we need to follow up on and see, you know, what's going on underneath the surface.
Laura: Oh yeah, those are super common ones. I think changing friend groups is probably one too. I love that you are mentioning that parents should trust their guts. That we have good instincts, that we know our kids and that if there is something that feels off that we shouldn't downplay that, that we should trust ourselves. You know? Not get alarmist, but really take note of those things that are kind of giving. I call it our parenting spidey sense. I think parents get a little bit of a tingle, you know, when they know something's not quite right with their kids and we should trust that.
Richard: Yeah, you should trust it. Like I say, you know, your child, you know, you know their behaviors and you know, when something's not quite right too. And some when, when some behavior just seems out of the ordinary and maybe it lasts for a day and it's not too concerning. But if you start to see a pattern of these happen and they're happening for an extended period of time, then I think we know as a parent something's going on now, we're not professionals, we don't have all of the information in training that others have, but we have the instinct of just knowing something's not right here. So let me check out with some professionals and get an assessment done and get the information that I need as a parent so that I can make some decisions.
Laura: You're leading me right where I want to go then. So if we're having some sense, our intuition is telling us that something's not quite right or we're seeing some of these warning signs as a parent who loves their child, what's the very first thing we should do? Should we go to our kiddos? Should we reach out to their doctor? Where do we go? What's our first step?
Richard: I think the first thing that you do is have a conversation with your child. To have a discussion to express your concern, not to accuse your child of doing something, not to threaten them, but to have a conversation that goes along the lines of I'm seeing this behavior, can you help me understand why I'm seeing it? So that maybe the child will feel less threatened and will be able to offer some information about why you're seeing the behavior. So you want to approach it from a curiosity point of view. I'm seeing this behavior. Can you help me understand why I'm seeing it? Now, that's a conversation that's likely to go one of two ways. It's either gonna blow up and the child's gonna become defensive and argumentative, which you probably have seen before as a parent in your child or it might actually lead to some information that you were unaware of.
The other thing I would say is we're pretty good at listening to each other's words. When we talk to each other and when we talk to our kids. We're not so good sometimes that listening to the feelings that are behind those words and that's a skill that every parent can work on and every parent can develop. And I encourage every parent to work on developing those listening skills so that when we're talking to our children and you're having a conversation. You're not just hearing your child's words, you're hearing the feelings behind those words. It takes practice, it takes work, but it's a skill every parent can learn and can practice.
Once you have that conversation with your child, regardless of how it goes, if you still have concerns, the next step is to get the assessments done that I've outlined in my book so that you can get a diagnosis, rule in or rule out anything that might be going on. Get a treatment plan put together if it's needed and get some recommendations from professionals on what you're seeing and what the next step should be. So, regardless of how that first conversation or second conversation goes with the child, if you're still concerned, you need to get the assessments done that I've outlined in my book.
Laura: Okay, great, thank you for that. You know, you're mentioning these curious open empathic conversations and I think that this is highlighting probably, and correct me if I'm wrong, but highlighting one of the things that parents can be doing from a very young age as a preventative too. So I know that one of my goals as a parent with my young kids is to encourage trust and security and have ongoing curious conversations about their feelings. Well, I'm practicing those good skills so that in those big moments later when they're teens, we already have that relational context. We already have a pattern of communicating in that way. You know what I mean?
Richard: That is absolutely right. I agree with you that the younger you can start to practice these skills, the younger your child is, the sooner you can begin to develop that foundation of trust and communication. So if your child is preteen, learn these listening skills, practice these listening skills, you'll get better as you practice and and over time. But even if your child is 14, 15, 16 or 17, this is still a skill that will benefit both you and them. So regardless of the age of your child, you know, work on developing these listening skills, fine-tune your listening skills so that you're listening, not just to your child's words, but you're tuning into the feelings as well and reflecting those back to the child in a way that the child is able to check whether or not what you're hearing is the way that they're feeling. That can be a very powerful communication tool.
Laura: Absolutely. And if you're wrong and they're correcting you just know like they're giving you feedback. Like, no mom, that's not quite right. It's really this, just know that that means you've got a lot of trust with them that they're able to give you that feedback and please don't be defensive about it or contradict them. Trust them.
Richard: Because you don't want to invalidate those feelings by questioning them or saying they're not right. What you want to do is validate their feelings and maybe you did misunderstand it. And that's the whole purpose of this communication so that you as a parent, get a better understanding of how your child is thinking and how your child is feeling and you're getting that information directly from the child. Sometimes you'll misinterpret it, that's normal. That's human. But that's the whole purpose of reflecting back what you're hearing. It gives the child the opportunity to say, Yeah, that was right.' That's exactly how I'm feeling or no, that's not quite it. Let me try to rephrase that.
Laura: Yeah, that's beautiful. Okay, so something that's bubbling in my head right now is that you were mentioning before that in your experience you would have parents who experience guilt around not having seen the signs or that there's something that they missed or something that could have been done differently. And now we're kind of talking about things that we can be doing as parents to prevent substance use or help our kids if they're starting to use substances in a way that is abusive or disordered. And so, like that piece is always a really like tender line for me to walk because I definitely don't want parents to feel guilty. It's not all our fault when our kids have things going on for them. And so I guess I just want to know if you have anything to say to parents who perhaps are in that place of knowing their kids are struggling and feeling like it's all their fault.
Richard: I think as parents, we do take on that burden of thinking that it's our fault. What did I do wrong? How could I have prevented this? How did I not see the warning signs? And I think first of all, just to recognize that those are very normal human feelings that as parents, we sometimes experience and raising a child that it's okay to have those feelings, but to recognize that there are certain things that we don't have absolute control over. And as our children get older, they tend to disengage from us and they tend to become more independent and that carries a risk with it. There are only certain things that we can do as parents to protect our child and we do everything that we can. But the bottom line is that every child is vulnerable to becoming captured by alcohol or drug use. No child is totally protected.
There's protective environments and we try to construct those protective environments for our children. But no child is totally protected. It doesn't matter where you live, suburban, urban, rural area, it doesn't matter what your income level is. It doesn't matter what church you go to. Doesn't matter what school you go to. All children are subject to being captured by substance abuse now. That doesn't mean you should become paranoid about it. That means you should just learning information, gain the knowledge, feel more confident that if it arises, you'll be able to handle it. And you'll be better prepared to deal with it rather than try and deal with it in the midst of a crisis which is already very disturbing. But then on top of that, you sort of get in a situation where you don't know where to go, you don't know who to turn to. You don't know what to do next. Hopefully, my book and the information that's in it will help you feel more confident that if you're in this situation, hopefully, you won't be. But if you are, you'll be better prepared and more confident to deal with it.
Laura: Yeah, I think that's so important. Thank you for that reassurance that it's not all our fault and even though those feelings can be natural and normal, can also make it a lot more overwhelming. To be kind of …
Richard: And there are a lot of reasons why children turn to alcohol or drugs. There's not just one reason some of them do it because of peer pressure. Some of them do it because they just want to experiment with it. Some of them do it because they had an opportunity to use a substance it was offered to them and they tried it and then they get a feeling that they really like and they continue with it. And for some children, not all children, but for some children, there's an underlying psychological issue that's driving that child to use a substance. You know, I worked in a psychiatric hospital. So a lot of the children that I worked with had not only a substance abuse issue, but a mental health issue as well.
For example, just about every child that I worked with who was smoking marijuana when I asked them to help me understand why they were smoking marijuana. The number one answer that came back was it helps me with my anxiety. So for a certain number of kids, not for all kids, but for a certain number of kids, there's an underlying mental health issue that needs to be addressed. And oftentimes, we don't see it because we get so focused on the alcohol use or the marijuana use or the drug use that we fail to see that the child is really trying to deal with an underlying issue. It might be anxiety or depression or maybe being bullied at school that we didn't know about. So that's the reason why if you're concerned, you need to get these professional assessments to either rule in or rule out whether or not there might be some other issues going on with your child.
Laura: Yeah, that makes so much sense. Absolutely. I'm sure we can all relate, you know, especially during this pandemic. I know lots of adults struggle with self-medicating with substances. I feel kind of curious if we can go into, you know, a little bit. I see child substance use. So my training is in marriage and family therapy. I'm a systems thinker, very systemic and I feel curious about how family culture and parents' behavior around substances tends to influence children's behavior with substances.
Richard: I think it has a lot to do with a child's vulnerability to using a substance. Parents who are tend to be more permissive, inadvertently develop that culture where their child begins to think it's okay to use substances. I sometimes get out, ask the question, well, what do you think about parents who say to their child, okay, you can drink alcohol, but you only can do it in the home. My reaction is what the research shows about that, is that for parents who allow their child to drink alcohol at home, those children, when they go off to college end up drinking even more than children who come from homes where it was discouraged. So it is not good advice for a parent to allow their child to use a substance in their home or anywhere else.
And the reason for that is as parents, we need, first of all to recognize that our child's brain is in the process of maturing and developing. It's not Going to get developed until around age 24 or 25. So we need to do everything we can to protect that child's brain and substances interact with the brain and can cause some rather serious consequences as a result of injecting substances into the brain. And that's something that kids don't recognize. And many parents don't recognize it because they haven't been informed about the neuroscience of how drugs work within the brain. And that's such an important issue that I put a very brief chapter in my book on the neuroscience so that parents very quickly could understand how drugs like marijuana work within their child's brain and influence behaviors and actually change the brain. I've seen some consequences of that in the kids that I've worked with.
Laura: It's really interesting, you know, so I'm in Wisconsin And state law allows children to drink with their parents even in bars. So at 16, a child can be in a bar with their parents and drink. It's a very cultural thing here and I like that you're talking about that difference and you're bringing some evidence and research to it that those kids who drink with their parents, you know, I hear this often and kind of common wisdom in the parenting world that if we teach kids young, we give them permission. Well, we won't make it kind of forbidden fruit. They'll learn their tolerance. They'll learn what it feels like and they won't experiment so much outside of the home. It's interesting to hear that the research actually shows the opposite effect.
Richard: Yes. I mean, kids take a lot of cues and a lot of their information from, you know, their parents, even their grandparents and their aunts and their uncles. They looked at them as being sources of information. Sometimes it doesn't seem that way for us parents, but they really do rely on us for information. And if we have a home environment which discourages alcohol and discourages drugs that has an impression on these kids. And, it's an important thing for parents to do.
Laura: And so what about parents' own use of alcohol? Like being able to have a glass of wine with dinner? Not problematic use, but normal use.
Richard: I think there's nothing inherently wrong with that. It's not something that necessarily needs to be discouraged. Adults are adults. But I think if the question comes up is to, well, why is it okay for you to drink and not okay for me to drink, then I think you get back to the neuroscience, you know? If there is one thing that I noticed in working with so many teenagers who are using substances. The one thing that really captured their attention was the neuroscience. It didn't do me any good to tell them the drug was illegal or that their grades might decline. They might not graduate. They might not get in the car. They didn't believe any of that stuff.
Laura: No, that didn’t quieted them.
Richard: Yeah right. But what did capture their attention was when I talked to them about the brain and when I talked to them about the neuroscience of how these substances work within the brain. So my recommendation to parents is, if you want to have a conversation with your child about alcohol and substance abuse, approach it from the neuroscience point of view, learn about the neuroscience, learn about the brain. Not, you don't have to become a neuroscientist but learn the basics of it like I have in my book so that you can have a conversation with your child about the need to protect their brain, how vulnerable their brain is and how substances can change the brain. The example that I would give you is, the kids that I was working with, the young men and women that I were working, that I was working with who were smoking a lot of marijuana, they had very high IQs. Their IQs were above average to superior. But they were smoking marijuana multiple times today.
And when the psychological test came back I noticed that the processing speed of their brain was below average. Their short-term memory was impaired and their motivation was curtailed and those are examples that, of how a drug like marijuana can interact with the developing brain and cause some serious complications. Now, you know, these kids may or may not have noticed the effect, but when I showed them how these drugs work in the brain, I would show them the different areas of the brain and what they're responsible for and then I'd show them where marijuana attached itself to the brain, I had their attention. So the route to getting children's attention is through the neuroscience approach and that's an approach that parents can very easily learn and use with their own children to just educate them on how their brain works and the importance of keeping their brain protected from these drugs.
Laura: I love that. I think that kids deserve to be educated about their bodies and about their brain and I think that they want to be educated about it. Even my 8-and-a-half-year-old enjoys learning about her brain and what's going on in her brain and why sometimes she's 8 and a half and the difference between her brain and her six-year-old sister's brain. We talk about their brains all the time to explain why some things are hard for her little sister and easier for her and how they will get easier even more so as she gets older as her brain power grows. I think kids are hungry for that at all ages. They want to know about their bodies.
Richard: They're very curious and as a parent, we can sort of use that route to begin age appropriateness to be able to introduce the importance of the brain, to educate them on what the brain does in the different areas of the brain, you know? You know, this area of the brain helps you with speech. This one helps you with coordination and balance and so on and so forth. And then as they get a little bit older, we can start to introduce the idea of well how do we protect our brain and what are some of the things that can damage our brain? And then you can get to the discussion of, okay, well let's talk about how alcohol and drugs work within your brain.
And then you begin over a process of time to begin, to reinforce in your child the need to protect the brain and how these drugs can damage the brain. It's a discussion as you pointed out, that can begin at a very young age appropriately, and as the child gets closer to pre-teen and teenage, you can start to build in more of the education component of it. So first you've captured their attention and their curiosity and then you build on that with the education.
Laura: I love that. And I think, you know, it's funny so as a child of the eighties of course, when I think about this is you know, about your brain on drugs. I think about that classic commercial, you know, with the egg and the frying and do you remember that one?
Richard: I remember it very well. Just say no campaign that basically we're running all the time. But yeah, yeah…
Laura: So the frying pan, the egg is cracked in the frying pan and says, this is your brain and this is your brain on drugs, but you're talking about having a much more nuanced conversation. And I think if we're starting early, if they're used to us talking about their brain, it won't seem so targeted and some kids are really resistant to our persuasion or to our agenda. And so I think if we are building it along the way having multiple conversations, it won't seem so kind of out of the blue about these things.
Richard: Right. You want to start with the basics. Just educate them about the brain, and then appropriately at certain points start to enter discussion on how different things can affect the brain, including alcohol and drugs. But, you know, other things as well.
Laura: Okay, alright. So there's a question that I want to ask you and I've been thinking about how to ask you this. So a lot of my listeners feel very passionately about teaching their children about bodily autonomy and consent that it's their body, it's their choice and we start that young with diaper changes. And so lots of the parents in my community have been working really hard on body autonomy and I know that one of their big questions on this topic specifically is as my children grow and as they become teens, how do I balance their bodily autonomy there being able to choose what to do with their body, the substances to put in their body and keeping them safe and their well being? How do I walk that line in a balanced way?
Richard: Well, again, I think it gets back to the education component, I think it's you as a parent helping your child as they grow older in an appropriate way, begin to understand that yes, it is their body and having that body carries with it a responsibility to take care of that body and what does that mean? How do we take care of our body? That is not just a discussion on alcohol or drugs, but there's a lot of different ways in which we can in a healthy way take care of our body. You know, it includes nutrition, exercise, a whole bunch of things that we do to help us stay healthy and feel good about ourselves. And so you can have that conversation about, yes, you do want to develop your own body.
You want to take responsibility for your body as you get older and become you know, more responsible for the decisions that you make. So let's have a discussion on healthy decisions that you can make and unhealthy decisions that some people make, not you, but some people make and then you can structure and end terms of a dialogue about okay with autonomy comes the responsibility to make these decisions. So let's talk about how we can make healthy decisions. And let's talk about what maybe some unhealthy decisions are. And they participate in the discussion in terms of identifying which are unhealthy and which are healthy. So really you're giving the child the authority and the opportunity to take responsibility for their own health.
Laura: Absolutely. I think an important thing to add here, I'd love to know your opinion on it too, is to make sure that we're leaving moral judgments out of the conversation because I think that if kids think that we are judging them or shaming them, that the, you know, making those mistakes or choosing something that is less healthy is going to carry judgment from us or disappointment from us. They will be less likely to disclose that to us in the future. So, I think coming from a place that is honest, but nonjudgmental, I don't, I don't know what do you think?
Richard: I think you're absolutely right. There's an item in my book that talks about why is it that some children are reluctant to talk to their parents about things that are bothering them? And when we ask children that question, the response that comes back is a fear of being judged. Kids fear being judged by their parents. So they often…
Laura: All humans fear being judged. We all are, but especially kids.
Richard: And that's one of the reasons why they say that they would hold information. So I think, you know, developing that foundation of trust is very important to allowing your child to feel comfortable disclosing things to you in a way that they feel you won't be judging them, you know? And so if they can tell you, hey, I tried marijuana once you don't, you know, come down and judge them. You don't criticize them. You don't threaten them. But you come back to the perspective of trying to understand, well, what was it that led you to want to try this? So kids fear being judged by their parents and whatever you can do to help a child not feel like they're going to be judged, I think sets that good foundation for communication and trust.
Laura: I agree. And I think probably the same goes for punishment. So if we're using harsh punishments, it can decrease a child's willingness to disclose to us, right?
Richard: Yes, Absolutely. Yeah.
Laura: Okay. And so one of the other questions that I wanted to ask that's kind of on the same lines of balance, right? So we're The Balanced Parent Podcast. We talk about balance a lot here. I think a lot of families who have a child who is struggling with substance abuse really don't know how to balance supporting their child with love and compassion versus crossing that line into enabling their substance use. So I would love to have a discussion on how to hold boundaries and protect their child and support their well-being in a way that doesn't enable them to continue using.
Richard: That's a tough call for any parent setting the boundaries, enforcing the boundaries and then coping with the reaction that you get from the child, which many times is going to be anger very negative and learning how to deal with that issue. And there is no simple solution to it. I would say to every parent who is going through experience of having a child who has a substance use issue to get some support, get some help. I think that's very important. Oftentimes we put the focus on the child and we lose sight that the parent is going through their own struggle, their own issues with this.
I wrote a parent handbook that accompanies this book, which helps parents work through the feelings and the emotions that they're having. I think it's best worked in consultation with a close friend, a family member or a therapist or a counselor. But the bottom line is if you're a parent who is struggling with a child who's using a substance, Yes, you need to get the assessments done. You need to get the diagnoses and the treatment plan so that you know what should be done next and what type of treatment is best for your child, but you also need to get support for yourself. That's so very important. So that you don't feel isolated, you don't feel alone and get the help that will support you because this not only affects your child, it affects your entire family, including you as a parent.
So I encourage parents if you're going through this, do what you can to get some support for yourself. Maybe it's a good friend, maybe it's another family member, maybe it's a counselor or a therapist, but get some help for you and support for yourself. So that you are better able to take care of yourself and support your child as they go through this process of assessment and treatment and recovery. The other message I would say to parents is there is hope, there is hope that your child and your family can get through this process and they can recover.
The remarkable thing about the adolescent brain is it has a remarkable capacity to heal itself. So once a child goes into treatment, even if they're to go into treatment, you know, and they go through the treatment process and you as a parent, go through that struggle with them of getting them into treatment and supporting them as they go to treatment and aftercare. There is a tremendous amount of hope that your child and your family can recover from this crisis of a child using substance. There is hope out there, recovery does happen. It doesn't happen automatically, you know, so many times it requires treatment, but there is hope that recovery and treatment can work.
Laura: Richard, I feel like that's the perfect place to leave this with a message of hope. Thank you so much for your time and your wisdom and your expertise. I want to make sure that people know exactly where to find you. Do you want to share where the best place to reach out to you if they have questions or want to check out your book?
Richard: I would say the best place to go is the book's website which is www.helptheaddictedchild.com. On that website, they can read endorsements, they can read book reviews, they can see a sample of the book, they can learn a little bit about the parent workbook. There's a link that will take them directly to amazon where they can order the workbook. The main book is available as a Kindle for people who like to read on Kindle. For people who like to mark up books and highlight them, it's also available in paperback and I priced it to be extremely affordable for parents because I really want to make this an affordable resource for them. And if your child is 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 ,7 or 17 or 18, it's never too late to get this information and feel empowered by having the information. There's also a link that will allow them to go directly to amazon where they can purchase the book or the parent workbook and a link where they can contact me. So go to www.helptheaddictedchild.com.
Laura: Well thank you so much, Richard. I really appreciate it.
Richard: Thank you, Laura. I really appreciate you and the work that you're doing and also your contributions to this discussion which I thought were very helpful. So thank you very much.
Laura: It was a really fun discussion. Thank you. Surprisingly fun discussion on a topic that can be hard to talk about. So thank you for that.
Richard: You're welcome. Thank you.
Okay, so thanks for listening today. Remember to subscribe to the podcast and if it was helpful, leave me a review that really helps others find the podcast and join us in this really important work of creating a parenthood that we don't have to escape from and creating a childhood for our kids that they don't have to recover from.
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All right. That's it for me today. I hope that you keep taking really good care of your kids and your family and each other and most importantly of yourself. And just to remember, balance is a verb and you're already doing it. You've got this!