Episode 49: How Fear & Lack Blocks You from Authentic Connection & Joy with AmyJo Mattheis

Do you ever feel that you are not enough, that you can't get all the things done, or that you can't give enough to your kids and your partner?

I sometimes feel and think this way, and I know I am not alone. As Brene Brown puts it, we all have moments of this "never enough" problem, and we becoming overwhelmed by feelings of disconnection, lack, and fear...

​As you know, I am on a MISSION to help parents overcome these feelings of fear, lack, and separation. In this community, I want us to help each other heal our old wounds & find new ways of thinking, feeling, and BEING with ourselves and our loved ones so that we can live in love, abundance, and unity.

​To help us achieve that, I'm bringing in a colleague who shares this mission: AmyJo Mattheis. She brings years of rich and varied professional experiences to all she does. She is a scholar and a former professor like me who now helps people live more authentic, connected lives.

​Here's an overview of our conversation:

• Causes of stress, the feelings of chaos, and being ungrounded

• How to shift from Fear, Lack, and Separation to Love, Abundance, and Unity

• The storytelling/retelling tool that can be applied and used again and again.

If you want to learn more about AmyJo's methodology, visit her website www.pavonavigation.com.

And don't forget to listen to (or re-listen to!) Episode 7: The Truth about Triggers, Trauma, and Unconditional Love where we discuss the origin of our triggers, as both parents and partners: How they come to be, what they mean about us and our inner world and narrative, why they so often emerge in our most significant relationships, and how we can respond consciously to the child in front of us by healing the hurting child within us.

Episode 48: How to Get Kids to Help with Chores

Are you having trouble getting your kids to clean up their toys?

Or are you frustrated because they resist to help you with house chores?

​Well, I get asked about this A LOT from my community. As a parent, we want to teach our children to be responsible. We want them to take care of their belongings, their home, and their family. But the bigger question is, how can we get them to do this because they WANT to, because they value being a part of the family and contributing the home? That's the big, long-term goal right? But sometimes, in our effort to just "get $h!t done" we use methods, like rewards & punishments that actually UNDERMINE those long term goals and lead to resistance and resentment. So then, what do we do??

​In this episode, I want to give you the tips you need to get your kids to help with house chores (without rewards or punishment). Just so you know, in our home, we don't use rewards system or punishment to make our children do some tasks. So, how did I do it? Here are the tips (be sure to listen to the podcast for more details and check my IG post!):​

1. Invite them at a very young age.

2. Express sincere gratitude and enjoyment.

3. Make it part of the family culture.

4. Make it fun.

5. Build it into the rhythm.

6. Be more collaborative.

7. Be flexible.

8. Respect their time and agenda and what they're doing.

9. Model graciousness.

10. Keep your eye on the long game.

Do you want to have a roadmap for creating rhythms, routines, and rituals that keep you grounded in your values and connected as a family?

YES? Then, be sure to get my Step-by-Step Guide (if you still haven't got a copy!)

Episode 47: Yes Parenting with Bea Marshall

Do you ever feel like you are just constantly saying "NO" as a parent?

No to your kids...

No to your partner...

No to joy, ease, connection...

No to yourself...

You are not alone! So often in parenting we focus so much on the "no's".

"No, you can't eat that."

"No, you can't have more screens."

"No, I don't have time for my old yoga class."

If it feels like you are "stuck in no" right now, I'm here to help you, and I've called in the Queen of "Yes" my friend and colleague Bea Marshall of "Yes Parenting".

When her first son was born, Bea wanted what most of us think we want when we become parents: Happy children who listen. In service of this she became super controlling and used whatever she could to gain compliance (time outs, reward charts, etc). However, her son became distant and was far from being compliant, happy, and relaxed. She finally had a moment where she realized that saying "no" wasn't working for her neurodiverse family, and she started looking for the YES in every situation. And so, for this episode, Bea will help us learn the Yes Parenting approach where by looking for and embracing YES (for your kids AND yourself) you can find more joy, peace, connection, and ease in your family.

She brings a level of levity and REALNESS to her work that I just know you're going to appreciate.

DISCLAIMER: There's a little bit of explicit words used in this episode but rest assured, these words are used with PURPOSE to explain a practical process to guide parents in Yes Parenting. It is her F.U.C.K. this S.H.I.T. method for getting a pause, looking under behavior, & parenting with connection. This is one of the things

Here's an overview of what we talked about:

• Understanding the root cause to be in control

• Relationship between our unmet needs and our need to be in control

• Tips on how to meet our need for control and power

• Principles of Yes Parenting (How to say Yes to yourself and to your children)

If you want to learn more about this approach, follow Bea on Instagram and be sure to visit her website www.beamarshall.com where you can find more resources. Check out her course on Yes Parenting as well. See it HERE!

Episode 46: Parenting Differences and Triggers: How to Get to the Root Cause and On the Same Page with The Uprooted Podcast

This month I had the privilege to be a guest on The Uprooted Podcast - where a happily married couple John and Christine, navigate their way through life and parenting in between. In the episode I answered some questions of theirs that I am confident you will relate to as well, so I wanted to share the episode with you here on The Balanced Parent. We covered a lot of ground, but it all really centered around differences in parenting style and getting to the ROOT of why it can be so hard to stay patient & calm.

John and Christine are parents to an 8-year old girl and a 10-year old son. As parents, they are challenged by navigating parenting with no alone time and very little support system, trying to balance the needs of both of their kids, one of whom has Autism, and how to handle parenting differences & triggers in a way that reflects the deep love and commitment they have for each other. And that's why I stepped in and I so loved our talk on achieving balance in relationships and in parenting.

​Here's the overview of what we talked about:

• Window of tolerance & how it affects your ability to stay calm and connected (and how to widen it)

• Getting to the root of parenting triggers

• Problem-solving with kids

• Creating rhythms and routines that support the whole family

• Getting on the same page as partners

If you wish to learn more about how to create rhythms and routines to bring more connection and joy to your daily life, download my Step-by-Step Guide to Creating Rhythms, Routines, and Rituals Workbook (it's free!)

​And if you are ready to start parenting as a team, I just have the right tool for you.

Listen to John and Christine's journey in their podcast as well. Tune in here: theuprootedpod.com

Bonus Episode: Building A Resilient Couple Relationship

Happy Valentine's Day!

So... I kinda don't love Valentine's Day... There, I said it! And I don't think I'm alone in that, right? One of the reasons is that I really don't like the idea that ONE DAY is enough to measure the success of a relationship, or enough to nurture a relationship. If we are partnered with a person, we need regular check ins and nourishment for that relationship, not just one day! So, with that said, here is an episode for how to consistently show up for your relationship (not your partner, but the relationship you have with them), in a way that is sustainable and supports the building of a resilient relationship that can weather any storm.

With this bonus episode, I want to give you Five Tips To Build a Resilient Relationship with your partner that you can put into place today! Now, these tips will also be helpful not just to your relationship with your husband or wife, but these tips will help nourish ANY close relationship you have (so don't miss out on this episode!)

Here's an overview of the five tips (I made an Instagram post so check it out!):

1. Set an intention. Take some time to get clear with your goals together. It is a way to figure out what you want out of the relationship during these stressful times.

2. Get curious. Curiosity is one of the most powerful things to bring in any relationship. It will help you learn and understand your partner even more. The Gottman Card Deck App (you can download it in App Store) is a great game to help you get interested and curious with your partner.

3. Use the 4 C's of conscious communication (Connection, Curiosity, Clarity, and Compassion). You can use these anytime you are getting ready to start communicating your needs with your partners.

4. Work together. You need to align with each other despite your differences. Make a plan and develop a shared purpose.

5. Build a foundation of friendship. Get to know each other again. Go out on a date and spend time together. A strong foundation helps your relationship become resilient.

And if you want to bring more connection, ease, and joy into your relationship, try out my relationship building game! It's fun, simple and can help you reconnect and feel more loved, (and it doesn't cost a thing!).

Episode 45: How To Foster A Secure Attachment With Paula Sacks

This week we are going to geek out on Attachment Theory! Attachment is an emotional bond that forms in early childhood and if this is not met, our child develops attachment disturbances growing up. These disturbances make it difficult for them to have secure relationships. May it be in school with their peers, their families, and in their work as adults. (We will also spend a bit of time discussing how Attachment Theory and Attachment Parenting are different- they aren't related AT ALL!)

I know for many of us that one of our deepest wishes for our children is that we form a lasting, healthy connection, a secure attachment with them. That is why I'm bringing in my new friend and colleague, Paula Sacks. She's a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Attachment Specialist. She's also the author of a beautiful book called "Love Rays". With her expertise, we are going to dig deep into how to foster a healthy attachment, while also giving ourselves permission to be wonderfully imperfect!

And I'm so excited! We covered a lot of ground in this episode.

So, here is an overview of this episode's takeaways:

• What are the 5 primary conditions for secure attachment? (Check out my Instagram Post for details, you're going to want to save it for later!)

• How is secure attachment developed

• How to foster self-esteem in children

• How to repair & reconnect if there have been breaks in attachment

• How attachment plays out in ALL relationships

And if you love reading (like I do!), check out her book Love Rays. It comes in two versions 1) Love Rays for Children - where you and your child can both enjoy reading a story for developing secure attachment into adulthood; and 2) Love Rays for Parents - where YOU can get practical tips for your child's emotional development. FIND IT HERE.

We are also doing our first ever BOOK GIVEAWAY for this episode. So, one lucky listener will get a chance to win BOTH of Paula's books! See my IG for information!

For more resources, you can visit her websites www.paulasacks.com and www.paulasackslicsw.com. To learn more about attachment and get the help you need, you can find courses here TheAttachmentProject.com.

Episode 44: Cultivating Curiosity and Wonder with Margie Tours

This weekend my daughters had the chance to sit down with an actual Astrophysicist and ask her their big questions about the universe. Guess what most of the answers to the burning questions my daughters had (like what was there before the "big bang"? and how could there be NOTHING??") were: We don't know, and we will likely never know.

Talk about an invitation to get comfortable in a place of "not knowing" right??

And that's really what wonder and curiosity are, right? Delighting in the not knowing. Allowing the desire to know more to fill you! And these two qualities are essential for a life long love of learning that most of us dearly want for our kids!

And with the current state of the world, with so many of us serving not just as parents but also teachers, I wanted to support you in that! So, I brought in my friend and fellow "Wonder Enthusiast" (yes, that's a thing, I promise!) Margie Tours who is a Biologist, a Mom, and an Educator. She's passionate about making science simple and cultivating curiosity and enjoy a sense of wonder of the world around us without always getting the "right" answer.

​She'll help us:

• Understand the need to encourage curiosity

• Believe that cultivating curiosity can deepen parent-child relationship

• Know the tools to cultivate curiosity and wonder

​To learn more, join her Facebook Group: Simple everyday science for parents of curious kids where you can find tools and tips on how to make science simple and fun (and discover basic science concepts through curiosity!)

BONUS: Grab her guide to 4 Simple Steps to Encourage a Sense of Wonder.

PS- And if you want to learn more about how you can use WONDER & CURIOSITY as powerful tools in your parenting toolbox, well that's exactly what I teach in my course: Playful Healing! CHECK IT OUT HERE.

Episode 43: Make Play Your Parenting Superpower!

As we enter the last stretch of our month-long focus on play, I wanted to leave you with some super practical, easy to put into action tips for how to take your play with your child to the next level.

We just had a tough year because of the pandemic and this is still a stressful time. We've been dealing with a lot of changes and kids CAN have a tough time processing these things too. And if you are noticing changes in their play, I want you to know that you don't have to worry.

​Play is children's language. It's their natural way that they communicate. It's the way that they process and it's the way that they learn best.

​These behaviors that you're noticing are their means to communicate and cope with the stresses. And so in this episode, we will be talking about play and how it is important for your kids and their healing process.

​Here are concrete things you can do with your kids to help them through their play during these times.

• Provide access to open-ended materials for your kids to play where they can use it for a lot of different things allowing them to be creative and in control.

Three categories:

1. Real Life Play Materials e.g. cooking instruments, school supplies, and baby dolls

2. Power Play Materials will allow the themes of being in power and aggression in their play

3. Creative Play Materials like art, craft, and building materials

• Become a play master. Know when to step back, be their assistant, and let them be the director of their play. One skill that will help you is to use the "Stage Whisper" Approach. Just simply whisper to them what you should do!

• Reframe your mindset. Shift your lenses when you see your child being bossy to them having good leadership skills during play.

• Be present. YOU are the most important piece in helping kids process big emotions.

I know that some of these things might be difficult for you or you may have trouble shifting your lenses towards play. But, I also want you to know that you're not alone. We're all in this together!

​Let me know your thoughts and experiences by shooting me a message on Instagram.

Bonus Episode: 5 Tips for Fulfilling Child-Led Play

These days will be completely dedicated for you to take intentional and decisive actions to achieve fulfilling child-led play.

​Play is important. If there is one thing you take away from this month we've dedicated to playing, it's that play MATTERS, to children, adults, & relationships. It's one of the powerful ways for our children to express themselves. And so, in this episode, I will be helping you learn what exactly child-led play is, why it's so important & how to let your child be the "director" in their play.

Here are tips that will help you achieve this goal.

1) Clear your schedule. Clear your mind. So that you can be fully present with them during play.

2) Have the right mindset. Your goal is to enjoy being with your child. You don't have to enjoy the play for you to enjoy the time spent with your kiddo.

3) Narrate through non-judgmental observation. Say what's going on gently and not come up with your own ideas.

4) Avoid correction. As long as nobody is getting hurt during your child's play, whatever your child is doing is okay.

5) Wait to be invited to the play. Once invited, allow your child to be the director.

I challenge you to do these tips and if you do, let me know how it went for you. Share your answers with me. Hit “comment” or shoot me a message on Instagram @laurafroyenphd

Episode 42: Preparing the Environment for Independent Play with Haley of Sweet Home Montessori

For the past few weeks, we have been slowing things down, observing our own reactions to play, and reflecting on how we feel about it. Now, we are getting ready to move into the ACTION phase! I know this episode will be packed with helpful mindset shifts and actionable tips to get deeper, more immersive independent play from your children

​And so, I am happy to have my new friend join me for today's podcast. Haley from Sweet Home Montessori is a beautiful mom of a 2-year-old with a degree in Early Care Education and a certificate in Early Childhood Development. She has also a Diploma in Montessori Early Childhood (3-6 years) working on helping families get the tools and guidance for their child's development.

​Haley will give us tips on how to:

• Prepare the best environment for children (and why that's so important!)

• Have a thoughtful and intentional environment that supports their play

• Maximize small spaces for deeper, better quality play

​Follow her on Instagram and visit her website www.sweethomemontessori.com to get more tools and resources. It's also a place to find workshops and consultations on Positive Discipline and Respectful Parenting.

And if you are looking to find more balance in your lives and in your parenting, join my Balanced Parenting Facebook Community and follow me on Instagram.

Episode 41: How to Actually Have Fun as a Parent with Ange

In the previous episode, you have learned about the importance of independent play. But do you still hear your child say: "Mom, Dad, play with me!" multiple times that it felt like IT IS AN OBLIGATION to do so? And when you do play with them, it drains the life out of you?

Well, I want to help you be free from this pressure and teach you how to have more fun and bring playfulness into your homes.

So for this episode, we have an awesome guest (and one of my favorite Instagram accounts 😍), Ange, The Singing Parent Coach! She has a background in Performing Arts and has performed all throughout her college days. She brought music into every aspect of her life and ever since she became a mother of two wonderful kids, Ange decided to bring her musicality into parenting.

She will help us figure out:

• How to be observant of our children's play (and why it's important to be aware of your biases!)

• How to manage discomfort when play doesn't go as planned

• How to drop your sense of responsibility of making play happen

• How to make a culture of fun in a household vs playing in a household

• How to have more fun and be playful as a parent

Make sure to follow her on her social media handles where she shares more tips on how to have fun raising your kids. She's on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest. And if you have Tiktok, check her account as well @angedallesandro.

​Join my Balanced Parenting Facebook Community and follow me on Instagram.

Episode 40: Supporting Independent Play with Lizzie of the Workspace for Children

Happy New Year!

​The year 2020 gave us a lot of worries and fear but I hope you were able to welcome 2021 with positivity. And I wish that you and your family will have the peace and healing that you need from all that you have experienced in the past year.

​As we welcome the new year, I want to help YOU become more balanced, centered, and deeply connected to those you love. And when it comes to kids, the way to their hearts is through play, which is why we will be focusing on PLAY for the month of January. I have a great line up of guests this month who will be covering topics ranging from how do we encourage more independent play, how to become more playful ourselves (and actually enjoy it!) and how to set the environment up for deeper play.

​We start off our month of conversations dedicated to play by exploring how we can bring more independent play into our homes. I'm so excited to have one of the leading experts on play to join me for this conversation: Lizzie of the Workspace for Children is a mom of three creative kids (ages 6, 9, and 11). She has a Masters degree in Education and supports parents all over the world through her blog and Instagram account in the areas of play, art, & conscious parenting

She'll help us learn the following:

• What is Play?

• How does the way you view play influence your children?

• What is YOUR role in your children's play?

• How can you support your children to be creative and independent in their play?

​If you want to learn more, follow Lizzie on her Instagram and www.workspaceforchildren.com where you will find creative resources for supporting your child's play.​

​Join my Balanced Parenting Facebook Community and follow me on Instagram.

Episode 39: Deepening Learning & Connection with The Reggio Approach with Toni Herbert

Early child developmental theorists used to believe that children are blank slates and it is our job as parents to "fill them in". Luckily the field has moved on from this and modern research has demonstrated repeatedly how untrue this really is. Children are curious beings who love to explore and discover new things. And thus, they are capable of initiating & directing their own learning process. And we can play an active role in this process by giving them the right activities and materials to activate their curiosity...

And I know many of you are thinking right now:

"Ok, Laura, BUT HOW??"

Don't worry, I've got you! In this episode, we are going to learn about one model of early childhood education, Reggio Emilia, where children are viewed as individuals who have the potential to learn on their own. I'm bringing in Toni Herbert, who is a Reggio-inspired Early Years Specialist, to guide us in learning to apply the Reggio approach to our everyday interactions with our kids.

She'll be discussing with us:

• What is the Reggio Emilia Approach (And how does this translates into parenting)

• How can we find Reggio-inspired provocations/activities for our children (without getting overwhelmed)

• What does the daily rhythm of a Reggio-inspired parent look like

You can learn more about this learning approach through www.thereggioparent.com. Follow Toni on her social media as well. You can find her on Instagram and Facebook.

Episode 38: Live Coaching - Healing Old Wounds for Healthier Relationships in the Present

In my Balancing U Membership Community Facebook Group, members are able to join me on the podcast for free Live Coaching. And so, for this week’s podcast, we will be having a live coaching call with one of the members. This member, who is a beautiful mom, bravely took this opportunity to take action towards bettering herself and her parenting for her good and for her family.

​
There’s going to be a lot of inner child and attachment theory sprinkled throughout this episode but I think it’s going to be really helpful to you, especially if the holidays leave you feeling a bit tender or confused about your triggers & family of origin relationships. If there are old narratives, old stories, and default ways of responding that you’re having a hard time letting go of, then join me as I guide this mom in healing herself.

​
In this episode, we covered a lot of ground and we talked about:

• Attachment relationships - How these relationships keep us safe and help us survive

• Old patterns and narratives - How these show up later in adulthood in our romantic relationships and with our children. These narratives also emerge during times of stress and that triggers us to revert back to our old patterns. But worry not, when these stories pop-out in our minds, it is our brain telling us that there’s something for us to heal.

And so, knowing how and when these old stories show up can help us learn how to:

- Self-soothe

- Adjust the ways we protect ourselves

- Set healthier boundaries and healthier, well-differentiated relationships

- Letting go of old narratives and heal old wounds

I sincerely hope that listening in on this brave mother's vulnerable work will resonate with you and help you as you keep doing your own inner work. 💗

Also, at the end of the episode I announce enrollment in my annual 30 Days of Play Challenge! It happens just once a year, so don't miss out! ​www.laurafroyen.com/playchallenge

Episode 37: How to Handle Bedwetting, Accidents, & Potty Learning with Dr. Steve Hodges

I have been receiving a lot of questions from parents lately telling me that no matter what they do, they just can’t get their child to stop wetting their bed and/or having accidents, and the pandemic seems to only have made things worse. Have you been there too?

Well, I just got the answers for you... are you ready for what we are affectionately calling "The Poop Episode"?? (I swear, I haven't talked this much about poop since my kids were newborns and poop was an integral part of the daily conversation...)

According to Dr. Steve Hodges, who is an associate professor of pediatric urology at Wake Forest University School of Medicine, bedwetting is not caused by deep sleep, hormonal imbalance, or underdeveloped bladder. The underlying cause is constipation of all things!

And so, for this episode, I am so thrilled to have Dr. Hodges teach us the following:

• The underlying cause of bedwetting or daytime accidents (and how to TREAT it!)

• The relationship between constipation and daytime accidents/bedwetting

• The right age to potty train and the consequences of starting early

As a parent, it is easy to get frustrated and worried about things that we can’t control. But we can never really control our children (that's not what we are about here, anyway, right??), especially when it comes to using the bathroom. What we need to do is determine what our child’s needs are and provide for them. And so, remember that bedwetting is never your child’s fault. It is a medical condition that your child doesn’t have absolute control over. Rewards or punishment should never be used in order for them to stop bedwetting (and if that's something you've tried, offer yourself grace and compassion; it's a frustrating thing, and after this episode you'll know how to handle it better. Be kind to yourself).

Members of my Balanced Parenting Community on Facebook had a chance to guide my conversation with Dr. Hodges and get their most pressing questions answered. If you want in on that, be sure to join us! Dr. Hodges also mentioned he'd be happy to do a live Q&A in the group in the New Year. We are in the process of getting that scheduled, so be sure to join so you don't miss it!

You can contact Dr. Steve Hodges for your bedwetting and potty training concerns through their website www.bedwettingandaccidents.com. There are so many resources for you to use. One of which is the M.O.P Anthology Books to learn the methods that actually work to stop bedwetting and how to potty train.

You can also check them out on Facebook.

Episode 36: Trusting Children, Digging Under Behavior, & Getting the Pause with Mr. Chazz

You know that moment where you realize you haven't heard your kids for a few minutes; where your house is suddenly suspiciously quiet?? And then you go and look for them and find them happily engaged in... redecorating your walls with markers, squeezing all the toothpaste out on the counter, climbing a bookcase (😱) or, (as happened once in my house) spreading shea butter all over themselves and the floor of their room.

Yup. It happens here too!

And in those moments it can be pretty hard to stay calm and not get lost in the flood of thoughts we have about our kids and ourselves, right? That's why it's critical that we as parents learn to pause, TRUST our kids that they aren't bad or naughty and seek to understand what's going on for our kids in those moments, that they have developmental drives and needs, and figure out how to help them meet those needs in ways that are also within our boundaries.

So, how can you learn to trust your children? How can you practice to pause for the moment and process what happened instead of yelling at your kid for writing on the wall? How can you figure out what underlying need their behavior is communicating?

In this episode, I invited my dear colleague the super fun Mr. Chazz to help us in digging under our children's behavior and learning to understand and trust them. He is a teacher, a mentor, and a motivational speaker and so I am thrilled to have him teach us the following:

• How to Trust Our Children & Understand Their Underlying Needs

• How to Help Them with Their (and our own!) Big Feelings

• How to Take Responsibility for Our Thoughts & Feelings & Get The Pause

• Assigning Positive Intent

• The Power of Observation & Curiosity

• How to Get the Pause

If you wish to learn more from Mr. Chazz, he is offering a 1-on-1 coaching at $20/month. Wow! You can find that on www.patreon.com/mrchazz. I will be joining him in his Patreon on the 21st of December to discuss Parenting as a Team. We will be digging into big questions and breaking it down into really actionable, doable steps.

Follow Mr. Chazz on Instagram and Facebook as well. And check out his podcast (I'll be a guest soon!) "Mr. Chazz's Leadership and Parenting Podcast".

And if you are looking for more balance in your life and in your parenting, join me in my free Facebook Group: Balanced Parenting Community. I hope to see you there!

Episode 35: Helping Children Get the Sleep They Need During Stressful Times with Paula Morales

Tell me, does this sound familiar?

You are getting your little one ready for bed but suddenly they burst into tears or explode into a tantrum. You are already tired from a long day and really just need bedtime to happen so that you can finally get a chance to relax, to turn off. But no matter what you do to try soothing your child and get them to sleep, it just won't work and you feel stuck. They are resisting sleep and you are resisting their resistance, yes?

I know from experience how hard this can be, which is why I called in my dear friend and colleague Paula Morales who is a sleep expert and a fellow conscious parenting nerd. She is an early childhood educator turned mom and sleep coach. She will be guiding us in understanding that it is not our job to force our children to sleep, but rather it is our job to provide the environment that allows sleep to happen.

And so, here are some of the takeaways of this podcast episode:

• Sleep is affected by everything. If your child is having a rough day, they will probably have a rough night. If your child is having nutritional problems, it's going to affect their sleep. So whole child well-being is key to getting good sleep.

• Sleep is one of the biggest separations for our young ones. It is normal for some attachment-based separation anxiety to bubble up around bedtime and you can help with this by cultivating your connection and relationship with your child. It's so important to slow down and make time for 1:1 connection and playtime.

• Sleep is influenced by their environment. Kids can get overwhelmed and dysregulated in new places or when things are busy and exciting. And when that happens, they need to unload and that often happens at bedtime. This offloading, this release, that a bedtime meltdown offers can actually be incredibly healing and helpful for them, and actually help them get better sleep.

If you need more support with sleep, I highly recommend consulting with Paula! She has amazing, affordable options and offers tons of free support on her Instagram page. Check Paula's website www.newparadigmmotherhood.com and follow her on Facebook and Instagram.

Episode 34: Raising Sensitive, Strong Willed, or Spirited Children: How Occupational Therapy Can Help with Candice Curtis

Do you ever experience having your child sit on your face? Or your child keeps on chewing that toy? Or who likes to spin on circles and to move constantly?

​I do and I know parenting with sensitive, strong-willed, or spirited children can be tough. This can be a cause of stress and anxiety for us.

​For this upcoming episode, we are going to discuss a topic that you may find a little bit technical. But, I know for sure can help you understand your child's behavior. And so, I am super excited to be joined with Candice Curtis who is an Occupational Therapist and a Sensory Integration Specialist. She's a beautiful mom of two amazing boys. Her mission is to help parents with children who have sensory processing and executive functioning difficulties. It is her passion to give these parents the right tools to help their kids with sensory needs so that they can enjoy life as a family.

​Candice will be guiding us in understanding our child's behavior in this episode and so we'll be learning the following:

• What is Sensory Seeking and Sensory Avoidance

• Why kids have intense behavior when sensory seeking

• How to help our kids with sensory needs

• When to determine the need for an evaluation by an Occupational Therapist

​If you want to learn more about this topic, follow Candice on her website www.integratefamily.com as well as on Facebook and Instagram.

​Listen to her podcast as well The Autism and Sensory Parenting Podcast! You'll love it.

​And as we continue to grow a community of parents where we can be of help to each other find more balance in our lives and in our parenting, join me in conversations with my free Facebook Group: Balanced Parenting Community. See you there!

Bonus: Inviting Peace In Times of Stress

PHEW! It has been a week over here. What about for you? Over here in the US we are just coming down from the stress of the election and are entering into a holiday season that is unlike any other (plus it's my birthday on Sunday Checkout my BIRTHDAY SALE!) and it's been more than a little stressful, and that's what I want to talk to you about! How we can intentionally bring PEACE into stressful, overwhelming times.

The holiday season is a time for gift-giving, parties, and fun-filled activities that are meant to bring us feelings of happiness and love. But it can also be a stressful time for us (especially parents!) and a time when we often feel a lot of pressure to BE a certain way and to have it GO a certain way, and this can lead us to unconsciously slip away from our true intentions and goals for our family.

In this little mini episode I would like to share with you some really practical tips for how to go about inviting peace and calm in the stressful moments in your life. Now, this holiday season will have its unique stressors, especially with everything going on in the world right now. And this gives us even more reason to be intentional and mindful of the emotional environment that we are cultivating in our homes and within us.

​So, how do we do that? Here are four steps to invite peace in times of stress in your life:

• Get clear on goals, priorities and values. Sit down with yourself, in a quiet moment, maybe with a cup of tea, and write down the things that you want out of this time. Who do you want to be during this time? What are the deeper values related to this time in your life that you want to focus on? Now, take these goals, priorities, and values, and use them to set your intentions.

• Set an intention. This is a wonderful way to keep your priorities and values at the top of your mind. You can take a few minutes in the morning, when the house is quiet to state your intention for the day and come back to them at peak moments of stress.

• Reduce reactivity so that you are responding consciously and intentionally rather than simply reacting. This means taking really good care of yourself.

  • Nourish your body with healthy delicious foods and movement that serves you well.

  • Nourish your mind, with positive, gentle, and loving self- talk

  • Nourish your soul with activities or experiences that fill you up, rather than drain you.

• Model the peace and calm and joy that you’re so wanting to see. When you do this, you put out a feeling, a sense of joy and peace that is really attractive and is encouraging calm and peace to others.

For more notes on how to have a safe, healthy, and intentional holidays in a pandemic, listen to episode 32 of The Balanced Parent Podcast.

​Also be sure to check out my birthday sale! Each year I offer a discount on my services and programs during the "Black Friday" period. My Birthday Sale starts NOW (November 20th) and goes through Cyber Monday (Nov. 30th). This year I'm turning 37, so I'm giving you all 37% off of all of my courses! So, go check out the options, and be sure to use the coupon code "BIRTHDAY" at check out to get the discount.
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​I also have FIVE "birthday sessions" available this year. Birthday sessions are 37 minutes of coaching for 37 bucks! Now, usually I have more of these available, but with the pandemic and my parenting load I'm just not able to offer more. So these are first come, first serve, and when they are gone they are gone! Normally 1:1 coaching is only available to folks who are in my BalancingU Membership, so if you've been wanting 1:1 support and you aren't already in BalancingU, this is one of the only ways to get on my schedule! So don't wait on this one! (If you want in on the membership, that's on sale right now too! Yay!)

​If you have questions about the Birthday Sale, don't hesitate to reach out! I always love hearing from you!

Episode 33: How to Help Your Partner When They Are Triggered

​Tell me if this has happened to you:

You're with your family and the kids start squabbling or acting out and you can see your partner's blood start to boil. You can tell they are getting triggered and that their thoughts are going down a path that will lead them to start parenting outside of your goals and values...

Have you been there?

Me too! And it can be so hard to know what to do in the moment when you aren't the one who is triggered! On the one hand you feel pulled to step in, to help out and take over from your partner... But on the other hand you don't want to undermine them in front of the kids, right?

​So what do you do??

​In this episode, I will be pulling back the curtain a bit and sharing with you (with my husband's permission!) an experience where he was triggered over some jealousy between our kids over a piece of cake and how we handled it respectfully, AS A TEAM, without anyone feeling undermined.

​Here are tips on how to be in sync with your partner when dealing with parenting triggers:

• Have regular conversations. Talk with your partner about your core values, priorities, and how you want to show up as parents to your kids.

• Get to know your triggers as well as your partner's. This will help you see when triggers are brewing and get in there sooner to give each other support.

• Get to know each other's thoughts. Getting clear on what you and your partner are thinking during a trigger can help both of you restructure your thoughts and get back on track.

• Make a plan together. Know what to do. Know how to intervene in your partner's parenting in a way that it wouldn't feel undermining to your partner.

• Stop leaving this to chance. Don't wait until the next time you're both triggered to take action.

• Process and reevaluate your plan after it happens. This will help both of you know whether or not your plan works. Restructure your plan if the need arises.

​Ok, so, what questions do you have about this! Hit COMMENTand let me know about your and your partner's triggers and any roadblocks you may have to put this into practice! Also, if this is helpful, share a screenshot of the episode on your social and tag me with your questions! This lets us build a community and support each other!