Episode 33: How to Help Your Partner When They Are Triggered

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​Tell me if this has happened to you:

You're with your family and the kids start squabbling or acting out and you can see your partner's blood start to boil. You can tell they are getting triggered and that their thoughts are going down a path that will lead them to start parenting outside of your goals and values...

Have you been there?

Me too! And it can be so hard to know what to do in the moment when you aren't the one who is triggered! On the one hand you feel pulled to step in, to help out and take over from your partner... But on the other hand you don't want to undermine them in front of the kids, right?

​So what do you do??

​In this episode, I will be pulling back the curtain a bit and sharing with you (with my husband's permission!) an experience where he was triggered over some jealousy between our kids over a piece of cake and how we handled it respectfully, AS A TEAM, without anyone feeling undermined.

​Here are tips on how to be in sync with your partner when dealing with parenting triggers:

  • Have regular conversations. Talk with your partner about your core values, priorities, and how you want to show up as parents to your kids.

  • Get to know your triggers as well as your partner's. This will help you see when triggers are brewing and get in there sooner to give each other support.

  • Get to know each other's thoughts. Getting clear on what you and your partner are thinking during a trigger can help both of you restructure your thoughts and get back on track.

  • Make a plan together. Know what to do. Know how to intervene in your partner's parenting in a way that it wouldn't feel undermining to your partner.

  • Stop leaving this to chance. Don't wait until the next time you're both triggered to take action.

  • Process and reevaluate your plan after it happens. This will help both of you know whether or not your plan works. Restructure your plan if the need arises.

​Ok, so, what questions do you have about this! Hit COMMENTand let me know about your and your partner's triggers and any roadblocks you may have to put this into practice! Also, if this is helpful, share a screenshot of the episode on your social and tag me with your questions! This lets us build a community and support each other!