Episode 88: A Simple Tool for Checking In with Yourself with Cher Kretz
/I'm guessing you are all busy with the upcoming holidays. And as parents, sometimes the preparations and pressures of this time of year can pull up in a million different directions and away from what truly matters to us. And so for this week, I have a podcast episode to help us do a quick "check in" ourselves to make sure that we are aligned with our goals and intentions. This is super important for the holidays as we interact with people who maybe aren't in our daily lives and our boundaries get a bit challenged (Check out this reel for some quick boundary setting phrases you can memorize, and don't forget about one of my very early episodes on setting boundaries! Finally, if you're in my BalancingU membership the Intentional Holidays Workshop is a great one for this time of year! If you're not in the membership, now's the time to join during my Birthday Sale!)
And in this episode, my friend and colleague, Cher Kretz, will join me to help us in this conversation. She is a wife, a mother of 3 girls, and a Family and Kids coach and school counselor. She has counseled kids ages pre-kindergarten to graduation and ran parenting classes for over 15 years. Her podcast, Parenting 2.0 The Focused Mindset, helps families use a solution focused approach to help get through any challenges they face.
Here is a summary of our conversation:
How to be your best self with a quick vibe check
How to feel balanced
Values, Interests, and Boldness
To get more resources for this topic, make sure to follow Cher on social media, visit her website, and subscribe to her YouTube Channel!
Instagram: @cher.thefocusedmindset
Facebook Group: Solution Focused Families
Website: www.thefocusedmindset.com
YouTube: Cher The Focused Mindset
Podcast: www.thefocusedmindset.com/podcast
TRANSCRIPT
Parenting is often lived in the extremes. It's either great joy or chaotic, overwhelmed. In one moment, you're nailing it and the next you're losing your cool. I want to help you find your way to the messy middle, to a place of balance. You see balance is a verb, not a state of being. It is a thing you do. Not a thing you are. It is an action, a process, a series of micro corrections that you make each and every day to keep yourself feeling centered. We are never truly balanced. We are engaged in the process of balancing.
Hello, I'm Dr. Laura Froyen and this is The Balanced Parent Podcast where overwhelmed, stressed out and disconnected parents go to find tools, mindset shifts, and practices to help them stop yelling at the people they love and start connecting on a deeper level. All delivered with heaping doses of grace and compassion. Join me in conversations that will help you get clear on your goals and values and start showing up in your parenting, your relationships, your life with openhearted authenticity and balance. Let's go!
Laura: Hello, everybody! This is Dr. Laura Froyen and in this episode of The Balanced Parent Podcast, I'm welcoming my new friend and colleague Cher Kretz of The Parenting 2.0, The Focused Mindset Podcast and we are so excited to welcome Cher Kretz because we are going to be talking about how we can do a quick check in ourselves um to make sure that we are in alignment and kind of working as our best self as parents. So I'm really excited for this conversation, Cher welcome to the balanced parent. I'm really excited to have you here. Why don't you tell us a little bit more about who you are and what you do?
Cher: Well, thank you so much for having me and it's so great to have a conversation with somebody that has a like mindset as I do. So I've been also very much looking forward to this conversation and I, myself and my mom of three girls, two of them have already entered into their early adult life.
So I've been through the entire journey And then my youngest one is in 7th grade. So I'm also a school counselor. I've been a school counselor for about 16 years and I've been able to work with preschool elementary, junior high and high school, which is actually pretty rare for school counselors because usually they stick with one grade and or one area.
Laura: Oh, So you have this broad range, you're going to be our wise guide.
Cher: It's kind of interesting because each fell into my lap, but because there was like the economy shifted back. It went in 2008. And so they laid off a bunch of people in the school district and I made the cusp of not being laid off, but I was involuntarily transferred to high school.
So at that time I was with elementary, I was in my jam. I was like, this is awesome. I moved from a preschool teacher in a kindergarten teacher to that. So I just like was seamless and then all of a sudden I was thrown in with high schoolers and I was like, these guys are taller than me, what's going on here? And let me tell you, it's like two separate jobs.
They don't teach you how to help kids get to college, that's not part of you know, your psychology degree or even counseling, they barely touch on it. And so I threw me for a loop and then I realized that they're just kids and big bodies. So it worked out fine.
And then later on when I was in high school for quite a while I decided to apply for a job for junior high because I realized working with high school that every single time that I met with students and I do a little walk back where whatever we're talking about, whatever the issue is, whatever the problem is, where did it originate and it's not that I want to spend a ton of time in that space, but I at least want them to identify that there was a starting point and I'm telling you almost every time it was in junior high, almost every single time.
And so I knew that those years are absolutely critical and I wanted to spend some time there because I knew that those kids are the ones that are developing so many things in their mind that shapes their life and parents are not quite ready for it, they still look at them as kids, their minds are not acting like kids and it is literally amazing.
So then I went back and applied for junior high and people are like, are you crazy? You don't want to work at a junior high and worked there for a few years and then a position opened up in elementary and I was like I'm grabbing that baby, so now I'm back in my sweet spot with elementary and working with families and doing parent workshops and like you mentioned about a year ago I decided to launch a podcast to help parents.
That's where it all breaks down, right? It's all in the parents hands when it breaks down to it. So that's why I opened up my podcast parenting to the focused mindset.
Laura: Yeah, Oh my gosh, I think parents are so wonderful and so powerful and I feel so blessed to get to walk alongside my fellow parents as we learn how we can best support our kids and I mean in part of that is part of the supporting our kids is being well and hold ourselves.
This is what I love to talk about on the Balanced Parent because usually when we think about balanced parenting, we think about a balance of like you know limits and expectations and warmth and compassion balancing within your parenting strategies, but I also view it as really important to balance all aspects of a parent's life.
We are not just one thing. We are not just mom or just dad or mumsy, whatever word fits for you. We are whole beings in and of ourselves with multiple relationships, multiple things that matter to us and when we're whole and well then we can provide this beautiful context, this beautiful environment for our children to grow and come up in. So I'm so excited to talk about that piece of it ourselves.
Cher: Yeah, and that's why your name of your podcast is perfect, Balanced Parent is something that parents don't really consider that am I balanced? You know, sometimes they don't stop and pause long enough to even figure out if they're balanced to w you know busy.
We're so busy and our kids demand our attention and feels demanding anyway sometimes and then parents just need to sometimes stop and wait a minute and say, where am I at right now? How does my body actually feel? What is actually going on? Why did I react that way? And all of those type of questions, sometimes we move so fast, we forget to do that.
Laura: Yeah, I also agree and you know the name of the podcast is a little bit tongue in a week two. So because we're never just balanced, Is that something that we can just put on a to-do list, get balanced and we're done and I am going to take a look at it again. You know, it's something that we do balance is a verb, it's a way of being in our lives and this check in that you're talking about and I think I hope you're going to walk us through the check in process.
Cher: It was when you and I talked. I know we kind of just clicked. You know, we were in similar spaces and we were like, oh yeah, we're on the same wavelength here. But when we talked it was true that what we're talking about is the way now I say go ahead and check in with yourself but how Great I'm going to take a breath like how and one day after a really stressful time in my life, my mom had gotten in a car accident.
She had nearly died and she's still recovering. She got hit by a drunk driver going 90 mph on mother's day of all days as she was watching the sunset on the PCH here in California and she was airlifted to LA. To the hospital and all of my brothers and sisters. I have a lot of them. I have seven all together from the same marriage.
There's five of us but we all came together from our different areas of southern California to be with my mom and to help her right, she's not married just to be there for her and I'm the oldest, but I was sitting and watching all of these personalities, you know, all of us now have our own families were all raised and my mom's personality is not in the mix, which might be, you know, she's laying there unconscious, so she's not fixed to uh, kind of like what moms do, you know?
And I realized that everyone brought such a different vibe to the table. Like everyone had their strengths and their weaknesses and because it was a stressful time, even the negatives were more evident. You know what I mean? And I drove home one day because we were going back and forth to the hospital and I'm thinking, wow, I wonder about our vibe and you know, a vibe isn't just we walk in the room and we have a feeling in the room and that's the vibe.
We actually possess that inside of us everywhere we go, every room, we walk into every person that were around, they're going to get a sense of who we are and we can decide who that is, we can decide what kind of person we are in each given space and an acronym came to me and I was driving at the time, but when I got home, you bet I jumped on my computer, I'm like, I gotta write this down. You know, one of those moments and.
Laura: I hate those moments that make, I think you're like, then you have to repeat it over and over to yourself to make sure you don't forget.
Cher: Exactly what it was like in the car. I'm like this is the thing I have to, you know? So I get home my family is like, hey, I'm like, just a bit that.
Laura: I do. I know exactly.
Cher: So I thought the stands for values, what do we value? Whatever person we're going to be is very much based on where, what we're valuing in that very moment. I'm not talking the big picture. We can have that conversation. Yes, of the big things we value.
But I'm talking about in that moment of time. What are you valuing if you're with your kids and you value the fact that they feel that you're connected, that's your value in that moment. So be in at 100% and then get your best self because you're valuing that time. If your moment in that time is it they learn responsibility. That's the value that you're coming to the table with or it could be just that you're walking into a brand new situation with a bunch of people you don't know, you could say, what am I valuing here? I value friendship. I value connection.
I value love. So that's not going to think about and I stand for being interested in vibe. Be interested not only in your everyday life, but be curious, be the type of person that's watching and observing, not always having to be the one that talks, but take in. So that way you can see what kind of people you're working with, see what kind of little personalities are coming out in your kids. Be curious and interested to do research behind what you're doing. So you can be your best self B stands for boldness.
Boldness is huge. Some personalities more than others. I find that for my personality sometimes I'm too bold, so I've got to chill a little but there's a lot of people like my daughter who is now 23, we have a lot of conversations about the fact that she needs to step into her boldness and she's always worked on that her whole life. She might need to be bold just to walk in and ask for ketchup when they forgot to give her ketchup at the fast food place.
So we're all on different spectrums. But the bottom line is when we walk into a situation, we say I'm going to be bold, I'm not going to shy down from the things that I need to say, I'm not going to I'm going to bring my best self and part of that is choosing boldness and the last is enjoy. And isn't that so important when we get so worked up, we forget that life is meant to enjoy.
These moments are here now for a reason given to us as a gift and you choose to enjoy it. Even if you know you're going to have a tough conversation, even if you're in a hospital. I can enjoy my brothers and sisters, I can enjoy what they're bringing to the table.
I can choose to have a vibe that shows that I'm present and I like being there, not that I'm grumpy and I hate being here and this is awful, so I really thought that acronym is amazing and now it's been a couple of years and I put it into my life and I'm telling you it's made a huge difference, and then I've taught it, then I've done workshops now.
I've taught kids and I've taught parents and it's all about just checking your vibe and then living your best life, but it's how you do it, you say, what's my values, what, how am I going to be interested? How am I going to be bold and I'm going to enjoy this and then you move forward and go for it.
Laura: Yeah, Oh gosh, I love to dig in a little bit into kind of what this looks like an action in the moment with our kids because I feel like this vibe check could be a great way to get the pause I hear from parents all the time, that like, I know how I want a parent and then I get triggered or upset or frustrated and then I start reacting in ways that are not in alignment with what I want to do, how I want to show up as a parent and I feel like this is a really lovely tool for getting that pause.
If we start practicing this vibe check outside of the moment, those hard moments and we start really building this muscle, the skill, this tool within ourselves, so that we have this, this, this moment, you know, where we consistently check in what's my time, Let's do a vibe check.
She says I should do a vibe check, okay, Cher inspired me to do a vibe check, we're going to do that today, and then it becomes more accessible in the moment. So can we dive into each of the, you know, so vibe stands for values, interests, boldness and enjoy. I love those things. I want to just check in with how those things work in the moment. Do you have any examples that maybe like your clients or your students are in your own life of times when you've used it?
Cher: Yeah, absolutely. I kind of feel like there's times when I've done really well with it and sometimes I'm like, oh wow, I know what I didn't do before I came into this conversation, you know, and but recently I um surprisingly it just happened to be when I was getting better from Covid, the wonderful covid caught me a while back and out of everyone in the family, just me and one of my daughters got it and it caused a whole lot of bonding time between the two of us.
So the silver lining was that we had a lot of time together and one time she was coming across into my room, I had recovered, she had it. So I just could be around her, right? So as she was walking in, I just got this sense that this is going to be a tough conversation, this is going to, she has something serious to talk to me about and no joke from the time that she was at the door and walked over to the couch you see behind me?
I quickly did a vibe check and I was like, okay, I need to be present. I'm not going to be judgmental, I am going to be interested in what she's saying. I'm not going to over talk or overpower her. This is not the time for that, I'm going to be bold, but not in a way that's going to overpower her and I'm going to enjoy this because she's my daughter and I love her. It didn't take long. It takes way less time in your brain than what I just said.
By the time she came in my door and walked over and I just noticed you know, you know your kids and she's like, I've really got to talk to you about something. It changed the trajectory of that entire conversation, it changed everything and at the end of that, I was like if I want to put that into practice how many times when she was saying stuff that I disagreed with, Might I try to correct her or might I stop and try to make it a learning moment? Well maybe I need to learn teach you because I'm your mom. No, that was no .
Laura: One fix it. Go try to fix it or give her a solution.
Cher: It was not the time and place, There's a time and place for everything and it was that vibe check that allowed me to be in the right space to notice what needed to happen in that moment and every moment in our life is different. So if we want to be prepared, how can we be prepared if we don't put ourselves in check?
Because then, like you said, we get triggered. I mean it's normal, it's natural. I could give you an example on the way home yesterday from my daughter's soccer that it didn't go so well. I was like, I'm checking my vibe real quick, but then my daughter's driving home and she's complaining about her schoolwork and you know, she said something and I'm just like, come on now, what you need to do is, and I went into preach mode, you know?
And then I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I wanted to preach and I had to go in this morning when I woke her up from school and say, hey, I'm really sorry that I gave you that big old bunch of baloney.
I know that's not why you came to me to tell me you're stressed about your schooling, so give yourself grace, you know, but it even helps in that moment because I wouldn't have even recognized that I did that if I haven't been practicing, you know, I wouldn't have even been able to go back and recheck and say you know what was I really my best self in that moment, I'm not gonna beat myself up about it because that's useless, but I'm going to recognize it.
So that way I can go back to her, humble myself and say, you know, that really wasn't my best self and we can move forward, you know, So that's how.
Laura: How I love that, I love too, like when I teach mindset things like this, I always want to teach that we can use these proactively as a form of practice, you know, regular practice that we have this skill, but also proactively as we're going into a situation. So like if we know we need to have a problem solving conversation with a child, like this vibe check is a perfect thing to do right before you go into it.
We can do it in the moment and we can also do it retroactively because they're like you said, there are always going to be times where we react unconsciously react. We react from old conditioning and patterns, it's always going to happen, that's part of being human and we can always go back and repair and reconnect and this is a beautiful tool to things that I wanted to pull out from the tool that I really, really like.
And then one thing that I want to get some clarification on for our listeners if I can. So the interest one, I really, really like this one because this one I think puts parents into presence with kids interest and curiosity are two of your greatest tools to help a child feel like you're there with them, that you see them that they matter to you, that you're interested in them, that they, you know, you value them.
I love that part of it and I also love the enjoy one even in hard times. So like so many of us grew up in homes where conflict was seen as dangerous, seen as something to avoid. And you know, it's funny growing up, I always knew intuitively that conflict was good and healthy and was an opportunity for connection.
That was something that I just knew as a child. And I think that intuition really propelled me into family and couple therapy, like as my specialization because I saw the people around me avoiding conflict and in the process disconnecting and so yeah, so I always knew that intuitively, but I think that that mindset shift of even when we're going to go into a hard conversation even when we're going to go into a fight.
We have an opportunity to get enjoyment to get connection to deepen our understanding of ourselves and the other person and help them feel heard and understood like these are beautiful things are part of being in resilient, healthy relationships and their beautiful skills to teach our kids to model for our kids.
Cher: No, I totally agree. I mean I'm right there with you because you know, you have your kid triggering you and throwing a fit or they're not being their best self, you know, and they're not being their best self for all kinds of little moments because you know what, they might be in little bodies, but they're full people there right from the start.
Yes, they are full and complete people, they're not incomplete just because they're still being raised and they are not going to always have their best five, they're not always going to be their best self and what are we going to shame them for that and roll our eyes and then change our vibe and then make them guess what?
That puts a cycle that it's not okay for me to share who I really am with this person and if you establish that early on, well, do you think that when they get to the junior high years, like we talked about that they're going to come to you when they have a struggle, not if they haven't felt safe in the moment, so it's really so important that we go into even the worst of times with an attitude of I'm a parent and it's great and this is part of it and that's okay, they're doing that and it's even if I get triggered, it's part of life and we are going to progress. The fact that I'm here and the fact that I'm in the moment is wonderful.
Laura: I have two questions now because you just brought something up for me that I want to ask about. Sorry, boldness, I want to talk about that a little bit because you were talking about that there's a spectrum of boldness. I feel like you have some knowledge there on kind of how boldness might look differently for different people with different personality type.
My boldness when I'm bold when I feel bold, I have this bubbly kind of cheerful personality or I feel sometimes like I am very bold with my compassion giving. So my boldness is either kind of bubbly or very, very soft and gentle, but it's still bold. Can we talk a little bit about can we dialogue a little bit about how bold can look different for different people?
Cher: I do find myself always pausing it. That one like you noticed because it is true that boldness looks different to everyone and everyone's on a different spectrum of that. So I find that me any a gram eight and really out there and really forward that I learned the most out of the how to be bold and that there's a different spectrum from working like I said with my oldest daughter, and even though I've counseled so many kids and talked to so many families about it, it gave me perspective mostly by being a parent.
We do our work, you know what we're passionate about, but we learn a lot just from our own journey, you know, our best teachers, right? And so I learned that here she is with a lot of apprehension about being in the spotlight, You know, where I might not care if I was in the front of the class or the back of the class, or if they called on me, she would be the one that wants to sit in the back and wants to observe and she's a very bold person once she's comfortable and actually it's you should let somebody be the person that they are meant to be.
And if they're meant to be more of an observer and they're going to pick up things that you never picked up on. So their boldness might be that, you know, let's talk about how you're going to ask the teacher for help. Let's talk about how that might work. Let's practice it. Let's do that because they still need to ask the teacher for help.
That's the thing is, you can't just say in our society seems to want to say this well, you know, sometimes is, oh, well, you know, they're a quiet person, so they shouldn't have to fill in the blank, but that's not reality that they still need to live in the life that we're in in the world that we're in. Thank you. They need to ask for help.
They need to be able to be bold in their own way. However that might be, they need to be able to do new things and feel that uncomfortable feeling and then get to the other side of that uncomfortable feeling. That's what boldness is all about.
You do something that's a little uncomfortable because it's what you should do. And then when you get to the other side, you're like, wow, I did that. So no matter what personality type somebody has, they need to decide what is it that I need to be bold about. It's not the stuff that you're comfortable with, that you're being bold about.
It's the stuff that you're not comfortable with, that you're being bold about. Sometimes my boldness is being quiet as weird as that is because I think that it's like I can babble, babble, babble, but can I be in this moment without being that person, then I have more strength. So it is a very individual thing, but it's more the matter of that you're stepping into, what you need to be doing, not shying away. So it's not as much personality as an action and really, probably.
Laura: I'm guessing part of this is how can I show up Bravely as my full self in this movie.
Cher: I love that term. Yes.
Laura: And you know, one thing too that just came up a little caveat is that I love how you're talking about this and how can I support my child in being her version of bold. And this does not mean we're forcing our kids to be brave or to do things that they're not ready for. I was like your daughter as a child, very shy, you know, within situations that were new to me.
Um I mean, gosh, I learned to walk entirely by myself. No one ever saw me practice until I ran across the room. Like literally my great, my parents would come into a room and I'd be standing in the middle of it and obviously had been walking and I would just like sit down.
Cher: don't look, please don't look.
Laura: At me like I'm doing something here, go away. You know, it's already. Yeah, no, it's, I mean, and so like, you know, putting myself out here in a podcast is challenging you. It's brave for me. I have this memory of being a child, being a young child and there were these little ceramic figurines and I had some pocket money and I wanted to buy them and my mom said to me, if you want to buy those, if you want to buy them bad enough, you'll go up to the cash register and buy them yourself. And it was, oh my gosh, it was terrifying. It was awful.
And my best friend Sundance was there with me in this store and she took my hand and she said, we'll do it together. And she was quite shy too. And she had some little figurines that she wanted to get because we were going to play with them together. So we went up and we did it together. But I felt very supported by my best friend but not so much by my, by my mother at all. And you know, there was this moment in my own motherhood because I have a child who's so much like me, much like me.
Cher: Scary.
Laura: So scary and in the moment she loves dogs but she is very shy and so we were at a park one day and she was probably like, I think for and she really wanted to pet this puppy. And I said, if you to her, if you want to pet that puppy bad enough you'll go up and ask the owner yourself that same phrase that my mom.
Cher: Like what did I just say?
Laura: You know and I mean and I didn't realize I'd even like that echo was there until I looked at her face and I saw just her spirit crumble. She was, it was like she was standing on the edge of a cliff with a parachute. And I had told her like you're going to have to take that parachute off and just jump. And and so the words came out of my mouth, I saw that just this defeat on her face. Fear on her face, loneliness on her face.
And I said, I don't know what, you know. Just in that moment I probably did a little bit of a vibe check without thinking about it. And I said to her, honey, I don't know why I just said that. Of course I'll help you go ask that the owner if you compare her dog, come on, let's do it together. And we took hands and we did and now, you know, she's eight and she when she wants to pet a dog pre Covid because now we don't get to pet dogs the same way we used to do. I don't know, Covid, you know, but now she's bold. She goes, she goes and asks and.
Cher: and you'll recognize that boldness to 10 other kids that maybe not even a second thought. You recognize that that's boldness in her. I think that's part of it is you recognize those little things, you know? Yes, as parents, we need to find some ways to help them step into the boldness that they can do. But a lot of times it's practicing beforehand noticing that it's going to be an issue. So practicing beforehand and talking about how it might look. How might that feel. What do you think the teacher might say?
I'm using that example of talking to the teacher because a lot of people in school age, that's a lot of, you know, like, well I can't talk to him. Well a matter of fact you can, but they don't feel like they can. So, you know, so it's like, you know, let's let's practice this. What might you say? How might you say it? It's a balance between rescuing them.
You have to empower them, you can't rescue them, but you also need to empower them in a way where they actually feel empowered and not like on the edge of the cliff, like you just said so, but it is still so very, very important.
We can't say, you know what, I have a shy little sweetie, so I'm going to let her sit in her room and not talk to anyone, you know, like how how is that going to be a helpful situation in the future and that's kind of what I'm dealing with right now with our school district, going back to school, we have time to get to all that, but there's a lot of kids that haven't been able to walk into their boldness, they've been super comfort, super comfortable sitting in their home in their pajamas, you know, and so now they're going to need to step into a boldness that probably would have been very normal to them, like getting out of the car and going to school and sitting at desk, having conversations with teachers, having conversations with friends.
That's why I created my course the conversations that empower because I really see that there's going to be a need for us to teach our kids and to teach ourselves how to communicate because our communicate shifted to a very comfortable we're in our own home kind of conversations and that is not the world that we live in.
So that's not the way that we want our kids to communicate. So, I developed this course because I say, gosh, we need to bulk up our skills and we need to be able so people can get that. We weren't going to talk about that. But people can go to my website.
Laura: you know, I think we should have a whole another conversation about rescuing vs empowering. I think I should have a whole another episode on that topic? I think.
Cher: part 2.
Laura: Part 2 Yes, absolutely.
Cher: because it's true. I mean, that's a deep subject and it's huge. So yeah, let's put a pin in that. But you know, all you listeners think about it because we're going to get back to it.
Laura: Yes. I mean, your questions for Cher. I think the last lingering question that I think it's going to be on most parents who have listened to this in their minds is that this is great. This vibe check is going to be a great tool and I wish I had known it when I was a kid. And so is this something? Is this a tool? We can teach our kids and how do you go about teaching it to them?
Cher: Yeah. You know, I'm actually offering to all of your listeners a special little gift. If they go to focusedmindset.com/vibes, let's have an E on IT vibes. Then I have a check in what I have a personal check in that kids can do and adults can do. And it's really super simple. It's a self check. So it has all of the vibes with all of the acronym on it, right?
And then You write down the different times of the day with your sister, with your, let's say it's with a kid. What's your vibes with your sister? Give yourself a rating of 1 to 10. What's your vibes when you're hanging with mom, when you're hanging with your father, when you're hanging with your pets, when you're by yourself?
And then they get a very overall feeling of 1 to 10 where they're at each day. So now they've done a self check, right? So then they do that every day for seven days and then you guys can track it together and say, oh wow, look at, you know, you gave yourself a seven and now it's eight. I wonder what you need to do to get to a nine, wow. Maybe you could do that. What do you, you know? And then you guys have this tool? So you get that free just by heading over to the focusedmindset.com/slash vibes,
Laura: I'll have the link in the show.
Cher: Yeah. And then also a pin up. That kind of has the vibe is laid out and you can print it, put it up and just remember it. Start getting it in the hole. You know, automatic. Like you talked about the automatic versus the trying. I hope that your listeners are encouraged to use it because the thing is, is that, yeah, why not teach it when they're young? Why not do it together as a family? Why not make it a part of who you are rather than catching up later?
Laura: So yeah, I love that. Thank you for that. Oh my gosh! All right, well, so this was an amazing conversation. I can't wait to have another one on Rescuing vs. Empowering. I think that that would be really great and helpful. Oh my gosh, I'm so excited. Thank you so much for your help in helping us understand these really important topics that are.
Cher: This has been great. You know, I have a feeling you and I could talk for hours, but I think you're going to set up a part two because this is the type of stuff parents just in general, both of us are saying, let's do this. Parents were in this together. No one's perfect. Let's just do this. Let's work on it.
Laura: I agree. I so agree. Okay, well, thank you so much for being here. We'll hopefully talk again soon.
Cher: Yes.
Okay, so thanks for listening today. Remember to subscribe to the podcast and if it was helpful, leave me a review. That really helps others find the podcast and join us in this really important work of creating a parenthood that we don't have to escape from and creating a childhood for our kids that they don't have to recover from.
And if you're listening, grab a screenshot and tag me on Instagram so that I can give you a shout out and definitely go follow me on Instagram @laurafroyenphd. That's where you can get behind the scenes, look at what balanced, conscious parenting looks like in action with my family and plus, I share a lot of other really great resources there too.
All right. That's it for me today. I hope that you keep taking really good care of your kids and your family and each other and most importantly of yourself. And just remember, balance is a verb and you're already doing it. You've got this.