Episode 82: Helping Kids (And Parents) with ADHD with The Childhood Collective
/I've been getting a lot of questions from my community about how to handle kids' challenging behaviors and where to get support. And a lot of the stories I hear about these kids send my “ADHD” alarm bell ringing. Kids with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can look like they are simply misbehaving or being defiant when in reality they have something getting in the way of them being able to meet expectations.
Now, if you are a parent who has a child with ADHD, I know that it can be tough and that you might be feeling worried that something is wrong with your kiddo or that you’re failing them somehow. And I also know many parents maybe suspect something is going on for their kid but are worried about them being diagnosed, labeled, and pidgeon-holed. I get that so much! I’ve had similar concerns for my own daughter when I was seeking to understand her struggles when she was younger.
Navigating the world of diagnoses, therapies, and schooling accommodations can be confusing and lonely. And so, for this week's episode I wanted to help you understand how your child's brain works, help you see how this diagnosis can empower you as a parent, and can help your child get the support they need to do well in all their settings! And to help me with this conversation, I like to introduce you to a crew of amazing parenting and child development experts, Mallory Yee, Laurie Long, and Katie Syverson. Through their work in private practice, they saw a great need for parents to more easily access research-backed parenting tips and tools, particularly those parents raising kids with ADHD, anxiety, learning disorders, and speech/language delays. Here is an overview of our discussion:
Parent mindset shifts when raising a child with ADHD
Prioritizing connection over correction
Viewing "challenging" behaviors as more of a skill deficit (thus in need of teaching!)
To get more support, follow Diana on social media, Facebook: www.facebook.com/childhoodcollective Instagram: @thechildhoodcollective
Clubhouse: @thechildhoodco
Or follow their website www.thechildhoodcollective.com They also have an online course, Creating Calm, for parents raising kids with ADHD ages 4-11 years.
TRANSCRIPT
Parenting is often lived in the extremes. It's either great joy or chaotic, overwhelmed. In one moment, you're nailing it and the next you're losing your cool. I want to help you find your way to the messy middle, to a place of balance. You see balance is a verb, not a state of being. It is a thing you do. Not a thing you are. It is an action, a process, a series of micro corrections that you make each and every day to keep yourself feeling centered. We are never truly balanced. We are engaged in the process of balancing.
Hello, I'm Dr. Laura Froyen and this is The Balanced Parent Podcast where overwhelmed, stressed out and disconnected parents go to find tools, mindset shifts, and practices to help them stop yelling at the people they love and start connecting on a deeper level. All delivered with heaping doses of grace and compassion. Join me in conversations that will help you get clear on your goals and values and start showing up in your parenting, your relationships, your life with openhearted authenticity and balance. Let's go!
Laura: Hello everybody, this is Dr. Laura Froyen and I'm here with a really exciting episode of The Balanced Parent Podcast. I say that a lot but I really mean it this time because I've got a crew of amazing parenting and child development experts who are going to help us understand a little bit more about what's going on when kids are having a challenging or hard time and how we can best support them.
So to help me with this conversation I've brought in the childhood collective. They are an amazing group of women who just get it. They get what we're trying to do here at this podcast. I'm so excited to have them. So I'm going to let them introduce themselves to you and then we're going to dig into this conversation. Mallory, why don't you take it away?
Mallory: Yeah, Thank you so much. And we're so excited to be here. My name is Mallory Yee. I am a child psychologist, but currently a stay-at-home mom. Although we debate whether I'm a stay-at-home mom or a work-from-home mom now that, you know, the childhood collective is ramping up.
And prior to becoming a stay-at-home mom, however, I worked in the schools. I'm trained in school psychology and I also worked in private practice doing a lot of diagnostic assessments for families, doing a lot of therapy, worked in pediatrician's offices, reaching families in that way, which was amazing because they were already coming to the doctor and then I was there to kind of provide this medical home.
But now, you know, my most important job of all now is staying at home mom. I have two young boys, two and a half, four and a half. They're really making me put all of my knowledge to work every day and extending myself a lot of grace.
Laura: It’s amazing, isn’t it?
Mallory: It really is. So I'm living that stay-at-home mom life and it's actually it feels like it's been recently but we're coming up on the three-year anniversary of that I think so it's been a while now.
Laura: We're so happy to have you and Lori your next.
Lori: Yup. I'm Lori Long and I am also a child psychologist trained in school psychology and I started a private practice in Scottsdale Prism where I mostly do diagnostic evaluations for autism, ADHD, specific learning disorders like dyslexia. And yeah I had training and background in doing therapy for anxiety or helping support families with ADHD.
And you know through that process kind of saw a lot of families really struggling after they get the diagnosis and in particular kids with ADHD. A lot of those families were coming in having gotten diagnostic evaluation from a pediatrician was pretty minimal and they were kind of like not knowing where to go and how to get support and they really just wanted practical strategies and it was hard to give parents evidence-based services.
Even in the huge area of phoenix. You know not a lot of providers were doing parent training and parent help for kids with ADHD. And so we really started the childhood collective to provide an online course creating calm to support our parents of kids with ADHD. Yeah we're doing that through the childhood collective.
Laura: Amazing and Katie, tell us where you fit in in the collective.
Katie: Perfect. So I'm Katie Syverson and I'm the speech-language pathologist. I also work in private practice. I actually lead a small team of speech pathologists and within a psychology practice and small world, that's where we all met kind of once upon a time, but I'm the only one that's still there and I work a lot with the psychology team that we have there in terms of just differential diagnosis when we're looking at a child with autism or ADHD different learning issues and helping figure out how their language, their social skills, their executive functioning, how that all fits into the bigger picture that the psychologists are painting with their reports.
So that's been a huge passion for me. I've been doing diagnostics for almost 10 years and when I do therapy because I do more testing now I try to focus the kids that I see more in the field of executive functioning ADHD and so it's been kind of fun with the childhood collective, bringing out kind of those things that you teach parents every day in one on one. And I know that this is something that you're really passionate about too Laura is just being able to reach more families and do it on a larger scale.
And so I generally will be the one talking about tools that parents can use. I'm also a mom and I use these strategies in my own home all the time when they're not working. I'm problem solving right along with our parents. So that's a lot of my pieces, I think of the tactical kind of executive functioning piece.
Laura: I love it. It's such a pleasure to be able to talk with a group of women who have such broad expertise and really share this vision of seeing the child as a whole person and seeing the family as a whole and deserving of wrap-around support that, you know when we see them as whole kids and whole families, we are looking at ways to support the entire family system and I love that you do that.
Okay so we wanted to talk a little bit then about, I know that you often want to support families as they are coming in, they've gotten a diagnosis or they're figuring out what their diagnosis is and particularly kids with anxiety and ADHD. As families are in that space, what are some of the first things you start helping them with as they are navigating this kind of unsure time?
Mallory: I think a big piece especially if the family is recently diagnosed if the child just has a diagnosis is really helping the family understand what that means, understand how their child's brain works, understand that their child's diagnosis is not their fault, helping them see how having the diagnosis can be really empowering for them as parents because they can figure out how to best support their child but how it's also empowering for their child.
I think a challenge for a lot of children if they're to the point where they're walking through our door for a diagnostic assessment. They realize that something is different, that their brain works differently, that something is challenging for them in a way that it's not challenging for other kids in their class maybe. So I think a big piece is also working with the child to learn how their brain works differently but how that can really be an asset for them.
How we can help in those areas that are more challenging but also tapping into some of those strengths that come from the ways that their brain works differently. So a lot at the beginning is education and a lot of it is a mindset shift to helping them see how the road ahead can be really positive and fulfilling now that they have this diagnosis and we have a little more guidance.
Laura: Does anybody have any other things to add to that piece of it?
Katie: I think for me too, you know, it is that reassurance and really building rapport with the parents because a lot of times I see kids that maybe weren't picked up really young as having a traditional language issue. A lot of kids especially with ADHD. Didn't have a language delay at let's say birthright like as a three-year-old where their language starts to become more problematic as they get older and as they start to write and they start to knead, executive functioning skills and cohesion right to write a paragraph or a story or an essay.
These kinds of things you start to see and those are all fundamentally language-based issues. But the same with social skills, right? They don't present like a child with autism who at the very beginning might be much more independent and less socially engaged. But as they get older and social skills get more nuanced, kids with ADHD who can be really impulsive, can really struggle in reading social situations Modulating themselves to the situation.
These parents are coming in a little later like their child might be 7,8,9 years old and they're going like something's not quite right. I'm not really sure and it might have taken them a really long time to get to this point of getting this diagnosis or getting the help that they need. And even getting a speech pathologist like it's not always common for a child with ADHD to get a speech and language of although it's super helpful and can really pinpoint some of these issues.
So a lot of what I do is really validating the parent and listening to them and taking careful notes on what they say and I have a pretty good memory so maybe I don't even need to take those notes but they watch me type what they're saying and it's like, yes, someone is hearing me, They, believe me, they see that this is an issue and so I know that that can be really exhausting as a parent because you feel like you're always trying to explain what you're seeing and there's always going to be that friend that says everything's fine, grandma is like, he's just a busy guy or whatever. So just validation. I think it's such a huge piece of the puzzle.
Lori: I feel like with the families that I worked with most of the kids that I'm seeing don't just have one single diagnosis, they have ADHD and dyslexia or they have autism and dyslexia and anxiety and so there's oftentimes a lot of different things going on and for parents a lot of times it is prioritizing kind of treatment and what to do and you can't, it can be so overwhelming when you get tons of recommendations about how to address different areas and I think for parents trying to help them kind of decide on what is there biggest challenge or struggle right now and how do we kind of focus on that or address that first so that they're not completely overwhelmed by that process.
Laura: So, so good, okay, I'm thinking about a question right now and I want to just take a second to make sure I get it outright. So I know that you all are very, you know, interested in the Ross Greene Collaborative and Proactive Solutions model, the model that's described in a number of books, but parents are most familiar with the Explosive Child and in that book, they really do a really nice job of describing how some of these underlying issues can make a kid look like they've got behavioral challenges where you make a kid look explosive and really there's these underlying things. Do you see this a lot with ADHD and anxiety in kids and how do you help parents shift from seeing like okay when he's bothering his friends that's really ADHD that's happening when he's losing it after school? It's really because he's got executive over-functioning overload from school, he's exhausted. Can you speak to that a little bit?
Mallory: I think we talk a lot about anxiety through the childhood collective and this is one where we see a lot of families especially at school and you know, we've talked about school refusal and some of our kids will, you know, tear up the front office of the school and they'll be running away from school and they will be cussing and hitting and all of these things and people don't make that connection. That’s anxiety, you know, because to us, anxiety is just kind of being frightened and shivering and kids will state that they're worried and a lot of our kids really don't have the language to say that they are afraid of a situation.
They don't have the language to say what is going on, but their body is in a state of fight or flight, you know, when they're anxious and for a lot of our kids, they start fighting, you know, some of them will flee in run away, but some of them will start fighting. And so yes, I think a lot of times trying to help parents and school staff understand what is the underlying issue, because if we treat it like It's just a behavioral problem, we never get at the source of that.
And if you try and force a kid into a situation where their anxiety is a 10, you know, 10 out of 10 you're never going to get them to do that. You know, if you made me stand on a stage with two million people in front of me, I'm not going to talk, just not because I'm terrified and I can't do that, it's too much for me. So I think it's really important to kind of get that underlying issue and identify that. And I think Ross Green does a really good job of trying to teach parents that there's usually an underlying skill that is missing or an underlying issue going on that can look like defiance.
Katie: Absolutely and like Dr. Greene says, kids do well if they can, and we really adopt that mindset with The Childhood Collective and that's a huge mindset shift for parents because that's not what society is telling them. Society is telling them that they messed up somehow, that they're bad parents, society is telling them that they have a naughty kid and society has a ton of opinions about what they need to do about that.
Laura: Yeah, and it's also the piece of like they can do it sometimes. So a lot of parents say, come to me and say, I know they can do this because I see them do it in circumstances and that means when they're not doing it, they're choosing not to.
Katie: Absolutely. That makes me think of another scenario that a ton of families come to us with, that's incredibly frustrating, but really common and that's that their child holds it together at school and then they come home and it’s the ultimate meltdown. And it's confusing for parents about why can my child regulate their emotions at school?
Why can they, you know, listen to the teacher, the teacher is telling me about one kid and I tell you that's not my child, because my child comes home and that's a different child, and that's a challenge for a lot of families is again, when the underlying need isn't addressed, whether it's anxiety or we need to build skills, some kids can hold it together really well, but it is taxing and it is taking every last drop of energy and mental focus at school and then parents get the meltdown at home because it's safe and because the child has nothing left to give. So that's another really challenging, challenging thing that we see families face in that way.
Laura: I see that all the time too and it's so important to know too that just because a kid looks like they're regulating, it doesn't actually mean that they necessarily are, they could very well be stuffing. And of course, we know that when you're stuffing and it's got to come out somehow, this will come out later, but I'm releasing a real Instagram real on this exact topic that I recorded a couple of days ago. So hopefully you'll take a look.
Yes, it's so common. I hear all the time, my kids can hold it together so well they're angels at school, their model students at school and then they come home and everything is no and it's everything is destroyed and it's so hard and so hard as parents to be on the receiving end of that. I've got one of those kiddos who just white knuckles through her day at school, she's in a different school this year that is not challenging in the same way her other school was and she doesn't do it anymore.
She's another year older, but she doesn't come home with massive headaches and She would get so dis regulated in her old school where she would come home with literal fevers 99, fever once or twice a week because she wasn't sick, her body was just that dis regulated and challenging. It's so hard. It's hard when we love our kids so much and we want the little angels, we want nice, kind, sweet moments with them.
Lori: But I always try and tell parents like we're all like that, you know, I'm going to go to my job and I'm gonna be really sweet and polite to the people that I'm seeing. But then I come home and after a stressful day, I'm snapping at my husband and I talked to angry and don't talk to me and we're all like that to some extent, in some ways there's a positive in the sense that our kids feel safe with us, they feel unconditionally loved and they feel like they can be that way around us, that they don't feel like they can be around other people at school. So in some ways though it feels awful, they feel that way because they feel safe.
Katie: Another challenge with this scenario too is that we're seeing the challenging behaviour at home. The fix is really at school. This is where families encounter difficulties with the school, when the school is saying they're fine, they hold it together all day, they get their work done. What do you mean? Does your child need extra support or accommodations at school? The problem is at home, but with these kids, that's not the case, they, they're telling us that they need more support at school, more accommodation.
omething is really challenging there. Their needs are not being met at school even though they're holding it together. Appearances, you know, so that's another challenge that families face is getting their child extra support at school when appearances would make you think that they're doing fine.
Laura: How can parents do that? Because I know so many parents are in the situation where they know that they're doing what they can at home and they need a partnership with their school. But because the school isn't seeing it, there's not resources available. They can't get an IP. So that they can get accommodations. What can a parent do to advocate for their child in these scenarios?
Katie: We recently did a thing where we were asking people on our Instagram and our email list like what do you need from the teachers if you're a parent and teachers, what do you need from parents of kids in your class, especially those exceptional learners, right. Kids that are going to maybe need a little extra support. And one of the resounding themes was communication, which seems obvious, but I'm a mom and I have a first grader. And it's kind of challenging actually, like we don't, I don't know how your guys schools are set up to your guys were trying not to say your guys, I don't know how.
Laura: We're working on it.
Katie: I know it's a personal goal. I don't know how your schools are set up, but I don't go into my child's school, especially now with Covid, I never go in and talk to the teacher. It's not like preschool. And so it does take a level of intention to reach out to the teacher and really kind of established just a relationship. I'm so grateful to my child's teacher, she's wonderful and my daughter loves her and she always tells me about how things are going and I have a really verbal kid who just will tell me like.
And then so, and so, you know, touched this person's chair and then they had to lose two minutes of recess or whatever. So I get all the details but from my kid, but it's like reaching out to the teacher and really establishing that relationship. I think that even in parenting we tend to do this right? Like things are going well, we'll just stay at the park for 10 more minutes and then things fall apart. So if you know that you have a child who might struggle or you've already kind of, this isn't your first roller coaster.
You might really want to consider like reaching out to the teacher and just building that relationship. Hey, how are things going? I, especially with my little one, she likes to take pictures of things that she does at home and she'll be like, can you email that to my teacher? So I'll just email random pictures of things that she does. The teachers probably like, oh, here she is again in my inbox. That's okay though because then something comes up, you know? And maybe like for example my daughter had an issue on a math test where she is really, I think didn't understand the directions for this one section and I just reached out to the teacher and I was like hey is this a concern? You know?
But it wasn't weird because I already know her, she already knows that she can call me Katie and you know what we had for breakfast three days ago because and I wanted to send her a picture so I feel like it doesn't feel so weird and again it doesn't need to be like a daily check in in some cases maybe it it would but in this sense I think it's just it's almost like an ounce of prevention, right? You're just going to get to know that teacher and build that relationship and that can be really helped full just as like a first line of defense.
Laura: Mallory and Lori, did you have any suggestions too?
Mallory: Parents that are dealing with this situation, their parenting an exceptional child, perhaps their child has ADHD. They really are thrust into the role of advocate. Most parents don't understand how the schools work and this is something that we also talk a lot about on our social media is understanding the medical side of things is different than the school side of things and how can we make these two things work together to really support our kids and it's really important for these families to understand. But it's complicated and so they're thrust into this role of having to advocate for their child without even necessarily knowing what they're advocating for and how to do that and what their rights are.
So encouraging families to learn what their rights are within the school and what to request and how to request it. And there are other people in the school as well that could be helpful to these families, outside of just the classroom teacher, like a school counselor for the school psychologist or vice principal sometimes takes on some of these responsibilities. So knowing that there are options out there that there are other people they can talk to with whom they can bring up these concerns. It is just so challenging that they're instantly taking on this advocate role. It's hard for a lot of families.
Laura: : I am so glad that you're teaching family those things because when I need to advocate for my child, I can just kind of throw around the weight of my PhD, you know, and I can come in and say, you know, like I have that level of confidence, you know, I love that you're empowering parents to have that level of confidence to be well versed in kind of the system that they need to be able to go into. And I just want to also add that parents in general tend to be quite experts in their individual child.
Mallory: Absolutely.
Laura: I think most teachers recognized like most teachers and school administrators. You know, if you come in with that sense of, look, I'm an expert on my child, you're the expert in the school setting. How are we going to work together to support my kiddo?
Lori: I have a PhD and I will go into IP. Meetings frequently and I get so much pushback and it's intimidating for me a lot of times being in an I. P. Meeting. So I think for parents like knowing that it is really helpful to have an advocate or somebody with you who understands the law because the law with 504 plans and IP’s is extremely complicated when I'm at a meeting, I can get pushed back, but I know the law quite well and I can say, wait a second. The law doesn't actually say that as a parent, you know, you're not going to maybe know the intricacies of that to be able to push back a little bit. And so I think a lot of parents really assume that the schools know what is correct with that? And a lot of them don't necessarily. We've been talking in particular about ADHD and you know, the Office of Civil Rights really came out and said we're doing a really not good job in the schools of supporting our kids with a PhD.
In fact, there's been so many violations in the past years that we're basically coming out with guidelines for schools and saying you need to follow these guidelines because there is so much discrimination going on. Our kids with ADHD and essentially, you know, if your child has a diagnosis, you know, you should be advocating for at the very least a 504 plan because if your child has a diagnosis, it's, you know, you get that diagnosis because it's impacting them to a significant degree in their life. And so typically they need those accommodations to level the playing field so that they're able to access the curriculum and do things at the same level as their peers. So it's really important for parents to know that, I guess.
Laura: Yeah, absolutely. Can you just give us a little short little definition of a five or four plan or an IEP. Can you just for people who are listening and I'm going to have to start advocating.
Lori: Yes, for sure. So with a 504 plan, if your child has a diagnosis, again, it's really a plan to say, here are some accommodations that will level the playing field. You're not changing the curriculum, you're not changing their instruction, you might be doing things like giving them fidgets at the desk that they can kind of occupy themselves giving them extra time on a test if they get distracted or taking a test in a quiet room.
If they get really distracted in a large setting where they get anxious during testing. So again you're not changing the actual work that they're doing, they're getting the same level of work. Whereas for an IEP where really when we look at an IEP we're looking at does this child need intensive instruction in a particular area to really make adequate progress? And this is really important. It doesn't have to be just academic.
We have plenty of kids who have ADHD or autism who do well academically. But their challenges are with speech or social communication or social skills or behaviors. Their behaviors are so significant that they can't access the curriculum or the instruction they might need intensive instruction in those areas to really make progress. So it doesn't just have to be academic. Your child can be doing well academically but still need an IEP. And still need instruction in those areas and the IEP.
Again goals has a little bit more weight I guess it doesn't have to be. But typically in the schools you have meetings annually where you're going over did they meet their goals? Those types of things. Whereas the 504 plan maybe you know isn't taken as seriously in the schools it should be. But it isn't based on my experience working in the schools and, and how they have that set up.
Katie: So I think it's important for parents to know that a 504 plan and IEP both hold the same legal weight. The school is legally obligated once this document is created and signed and agreed upon by everyone there legally obligated to implement it. But like Lori said sometimes 504 plans aren't seen as so important. But they both come from federal law, they both hold legal weight. One is not, you know, more valid than the other. They're both important in the school has to follow them.
Laura: Thank you for that clarification. You know, it's Lori you mentioned having fidgets on a 504 plan and I know so many families who are in schools whose teachers have made a blanket ban on all fidgets and that really like that means that probably for some of those kids if they had a five or four plan that, that would be being violated.
Lori: It would be. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I have said this before. I do testing with lots of kids with HD and I've tried fidgets and a lot of times it is very distracting but that doesn't mean that all of them are distracting. And it doesn't mean that there aren't you know sometimes it's putting Velcro under their desk or having silly putty or something like that.
That maybe isn't distracting for other students or them where it's not like a toy but it gives them that ability to get out some of that, those fidgety behaviors or things like that, that they can't control, you know, they really can't control. Their body is kind of moving and going and they don't have the ability to regulate that and they need some help with that. So making blanket statements is probably not appropriate.
But I think most parents think, oh, the teachers should know that and they don't like, teachers don't necessarily get a lot of training in ADHD or five or four plans or things like that. So we do have to do our part and kind of educating and if we, as parents don't know those things getting an advocate to help with those meetings. That does understand the law is really helpful.
Laura: I used to do that in grad school. How would people find someone to come and be an advocate for you in this?
Mallory: Yeah, I think doing a google search for an educational advocate in your area. So I think that can be helpful or talking to other parents. Like if you can get in a Facebook group in your area that's, you know, asking parents within that group like have you had issues at a meeting? Did you use somebody and getting recommendations that way? Most people can be helpful.
Laura: I would imagine your child's other service providers might also be plugged into those networks. Like if your child is you're seeing a slip.
Mallory: Definitely. Yeah. And I think if you're in a rural area again, just remember that especially in this last year with Covid like we can do zoom meetings like that's really easy to do. And I, most of the IEP meetings I attend via a phone conference or zoom, I'm not there in person. So you know, it's really easy to have somebody who's maybe, you know, you have more options for instance in the greater phoenix area, but you might be in Yuma and there's not a lot of people you can still have them assist you with that meaning.
Laura: Awesome. Thank you for that. Okay, so I have one last question for the three of you if there's one thing you wanted families to know as they wrap up listening to this episode about, you know, if they've got a child who's struggling who has some challenging behaviors that might or might not be related to ADHD. But what is it that you really want families and parents to know about their kid about themselves? I'd love to hear that it's not your fault and the same thing.
Lori: Yeah. It's not your fault. And I know that there can be a lot of hesitation about do I want to go down the route of getting a diagnosis when you're starting to see those things and I think there's many advantages to that and I've not once had a family come to me for an evaluation and said I regret this experience. Almost every single person just feels this sense of relief of, okay, now I know what this is now.
I know the science based information to help with this is and I have a direction and a plan and now my child even potentially knows what this is so that they cannot feel like they're stupid and behind their peers and not as good as their peers that they, their brain works differently and so that they can celebrate the awesome ways that they are different.
Their peers aren't just was talking to a kid recently and had autism and we were able to talk about all the amazing things that he could do that his other friends couldn't do because he had autism, how observant he is with his environment and his amazing, intense interests and math and things like that, that really make him unique. It can be so helpful and empowering to families and really set your child up for success in the future with getting interventions that we know are really helpful for that particular diagnosis.
Katie: I think something else that I would want parents to hear is just, you know, as Lori said and Mallory to it's not your fault, but also that you're not alone. I think that for parents who are raising exceptional kids, I was speaking to a mom yesterday and she told me, you know, my kids are just extra and their extra energetic and their extra happy and they're extra athletic, but they can also be extra difficult at times and when you look at other people and you look around a restaurant or see other kids just holding their parents hand nicely in the parking lot.
It can feel really discouraging and really isolating like I'm the only one that struggles with this and we know that that's not true because we deal in a different population right? And so in our jobs were seeing families all the time that are struggling but looking for those resources connecting through social media is such a great way to do it.
But understanding like this is a normal, I put that in quotes experience for a lot of families actually that go through this and you're certainly not alone and think that almost all of us have fears and concerns about our children at times that can be really validating to be around other people who are going through something similar.
Laura: Absolutely Mallory, is there anything to add?
Mallory: I think they said it great and like you said earlier, Laura parents are the expert on their child and they really are the best person to help their child and they have the power and so letting parents know and empowering them with the knowledge that they truly are the expert and that they can help their child I think is one of the, one of the most important takeaways. I hope parents get from that.
Laura: That's beautiful. I just want to add as a person who has a challenging kid who's highly anxious and her anxiety manifests and she has some sensory issues too. They manifest in some really challenging behaviors. I waited way too long to get help and support because I had this idea in my head that I'm supposed to know, I'm the expert, I'm supposed to know how to do all of this, I'm supposed to know how to handle it.
But it's different when you're when it's your child. And so yes, I just want to echo, you're not alone in this, it is not your fault and there's nothing wrong with needing support. And that doesn't mean you failed in any way and your kids are lucky to have you. I mean, you're going to be their greatest partner in figuring out what it means to live with these things because many of these things are going to be kind of walk alongside your kids for the rest of their lives and so how powerful is it to have tools that they're learning now as kids, you know?
Yeah, absolutely. Well, thank you all so much for being here with me. I hope everybody will go and follow the Childhood Collective on Instagram. Their content is amazing. And I know you have a course on ADHD. Right, why don't you tell us a little bit about that course. So people can go and check it out and get support if they need it.
Lori: Yeah, we have an online course. It's a video based course for parents who have kids with ADHD between the ages of four and 11, 4 and 12. And again, our course is really trying to give parents like simple science backed information and kind of a step by step process of how to support their kids at home, because we just kind of see parents really struggling with knowing what to do.
And again, our point is to say you don't need to be an ADHD expert, you don't need to have a PhD in child psychology to do this. You really don't do a lot of this stuff we weren't even trained in in schools. And so we're kind of, yeah, we're kind of packaging this stuff that is the most important stuff that you need to know to really support your child and really help them to grow and to be independent. I mean, that's really what we want for our kids. How do we find joy and parenting? How do we grow them into the amazing kids that we know that they can be. So, that's what we want to do with our course. So you can check that out at the thechildhoodcollective.com
Laura: I hope that they do. That sounds like an amazing resource. Probably is helping so many families. Thank you for being here.
Lori: Thank you so much for having us on.
Katie: Yes, thank you so much. And we love your content to so this is really fun to get to sit down and just telling you,
Laura: Oh, I had a lot of fun too. I think we could probably geek out about this stuff forever,
Mallory: I know, probably.
Okay, so thanks for listening today. Remember to subscribe to the podcast and if it was helpful, leave me a review. That really helps others find the podcast and join us in this really important work of creating a parenthood that we don't have to escape from and creating a childhood for our kids that they don't have to recover from.
And if you're listening, grab a screenshot and tag me on Instagram so that I can give you a shout out and definitely go follow me on Instagram @laurafroyenphd. That's where you can get behind the scenes, look at what balanced, conscious parenting looks like in action with my family and plus, I share a lot of other really great resources there too.
All right. That's it for me today. I hope that you keep taking really good care of your kids and your family and each other and most importantly of yourself. And just remember, balance is a verb and you're already doing it. You've got this.